Saying Goodbye

Yesterday I learned of the death of an old friend. Subsequently, I decided to attend the family's visitation yesterday evening.
This was a difficult situation for me. The man who died was at one time my father-in-law. At a particularly low period in my life I did a very stupid thing and married someone who was quite a bit younger than me. Looking back, I'm sure his parents wanted to either send him away to camp or kill me. They did neither. What they did was embrace me and my children, let us live in their house with them and then let us stay there when they moved out. We paid utilities and that was it. One year at Christmas when we had no money, my father-in-law took my car and had 4 brand new tires put on it, filled it up with gas and handed us some money and told my husband to take me and my children home to see my parents.
But perhaps the greatest kindness of all was the kindness and love he showed my daughter.
Given the fact that this was a marriage doomed from the start, it eventually ran its' course and my prince charming went away. My daughter had been selected as the basketball court maid from her class and the girls were all to be walked in the ceremony by their fathers. Her own "bio" father was far away and could not be there and the newly departed step-dad made a hard and fast promise that he would be there to walk her.
I knew that while his intentions might be good, I also knew he was totally without any conscience when it came to doing what was right as opposed to what he wanted to do. I was determined that my baby would not be disappointed or embarrassed so I called and explained the situation to "D". He never hesitated for one moment. He assured me that I need not worry, nor did I need to pursue that issue any further with his son.
On the night he was needed, he put on his (much hated to wear) suit, showed up at the school gym, and proudly walked my daughter for the whole town to see.
Perhaps I'm wrong, but is this not the measure of a real and good man? Over the course of the last 20 years, "D" had suffered with a wide variety of health issues, but anytime I saw him, he was always glad to see me and asked after my kids and my mother. Stepping out of his comfort zone and his own problems was a trait he possessed with everyone. The visitation last night was a crush of people. They are a big family which contributed to the size of the crowd, but the acquaintances, friends and simply people "D" touched in his lifetime overwhelmed the room. His widow told me she wasn't sure she had any friends, she thought they were all "D's". He had one of those personalities that other people seem to orbit around.
For me it was good to be able to say goodbye not just to him but to a chapter in my life that had never really been finished.
Each person that we touch in life leaves us with a lesson. From "D" I learned that anytime I am faced with an uncomfortable decision to make or am asked to step out of what makes ME feel good - I must put on that hated suit, put a smile on my face and think about what is going to make someone else feel good. And show up and do the right thing.