Am I the only one that thinks it is possible that all this new technology (which I confess - I love) could be killing our ability to build and maintain good inter-personal relationships?
I've felt this way for a while now but lately it seems to be ringing more true than ever.
Something that began as a good tool to be able to connect us has caused its' own short circuit - disconnecting instead of the original purpose.
If you have ever gotten an email from me I'm sure you think - good grief, the woman cannot shut up! However, I have found that if a person does not border on gushing in emails you run the risk of offending someone or hurting their feelings.
Now we have thrown text messaging into the mix and because of the limited space and time to accomplish it - we use technology's special shorthand to communicate.
The problem with both of these forms of "communicating" and I use the term lightly is that they are both absent of emotion. They are toneless messages sent between people who cannot hear a voice inflection or see another person's eyes which goes a long way in driving home our messages and intent. They are short, curt and lacking feeling which are important components in making messages misunderstood.
Imagine if you will someone looking at you with a twinkle in their eye telling you "you are such a butthead." Because of that "twinkle" and the smile on their face you know they are teasing and you respond in kind. Now take away that twinkle and smile and read " U R such a butthd." Well, okay......now you are slightly miffed if not downright pissed.
Also because of the convenience of texting, people think you are available to "correspond" with them 24 - 7. No one should have this level of constant contact with someone else. Its' not healthy. Good relationships are built by people having something to talk about face to face at the end of the day. There is a certain mystery to learning about someone over time. Texting makes us learn them too quickly in too sterile an environment and can often nip a perfectly good relationship in the bud before it has a chance to develop.
Roger and I recently observed a teenage girl in a restaurant who for 1/2 an hour before being seated had her phone pressed to her ear. All through her dinner, she ignored the girl across the table from her and continued to merely "listen" to whoever was on the other end. I felt so bad for the other girl sitting there counting the holes in ceiling tiles while her dinner companion could not or would not disconnet from a device. Instead she chose to disconnect from a living breathing person. Continued texting and cell phone usage in the presence of other people is the highest form of disrespect. And before you go all postal on me let me assure you that I have been known to use mine around other people - but I do try to be very in tune to where I am and whose feelings I might be hurting by ignoring them to be on the phone. It is just something to think about and I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts as well.
1 comment:
I sure agree that people using their cell phone could hang up to check out at the stores or think about where they are and who is listening, privacy doesn't seem to enter their mind. I do believe it is rude to continue talking when you and the other person are trying to have a conversation. As you say looking at a person and reading body language is very satisfying that you have a relationship with that person. Emergency wise the cell phone is a great tool but leave it at that. In agreement with you.
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