Rainy Days

In spite of the fact that I truly love to be outside......I really love the rain. It has a very peaceful and calming effect on me. Everything slows down and moves at a snails pace in the rain. We have had several (seriously, several) days of gentle straight down soaking rain. You know the kind that really does some good. Of course we have also had the booming claps of thunder and flashing cracks of lightening too, but for the most part just good old rain. I can remember being a little girl and laying upstairs in my grandmother's farmhouse and listening to the rain drum on the roof. That sound coupled with the quiet clatter of an old metal oscillating fan was the prettiest lullabye I ever heard. The next morning, the haze would be settled into the low areas of the farmland and from down along the creek you could hear the call of the "mourning" doves. I can't think about it without tears coming to my eyes. It was the most peaceful, innocent and happy time of my youth. I guess I am really nostalgic because we have just put April to bed and April is the month I lost my grandmother. My grandma was a farmer's wife and she never had time to devote to just being a grandma, but my memories of her are as vivid as can be. Even though she was busy, she taught me to crochet, sew, do laundry and iron. She taught these things to me because she included me in her daily tasks. And then some days, she would set down whatever she was working on - grab her old beat up straw hat and say "Let's go fishing." We'd scoot out to the garden and dig down by the water tank fed by the windmill and turn up a bunch of big fat worms. We'd throw the cane poles in the old Ford truck with a jug of water and go bouncing along the bumpy roads to the "crick." To this day, I can't ever remember catching much of anything or even talking much. I think this was her "run away" her way to bring some peace when she was stressed and over taxed. My grandmother was my hero. Not because of anything she ever bought me, or for the hours she spent playing with me. She was my hero because she was always my biggest supporter. In her eyes, I could do no wrong. If I had made a mistake or gotten myself into a pickle, she was absolutely positive that I had a perfectly good reason for it.
Everyone needs someone in their life that gives them that level of approval (even if it is sometimes unmerited).
I hope someday my grandchildren will look back on this hopelessly flawed person that is their grandmother and be able to say that I supported them and loved them no matter what.
I may not have a lot of money to spend. And I may not always be available to go and do as I might like. I might not always be available to babysit or hundreds of other challenges I'm faced with. But I can love unconditionally and support their decision even if I don't completely understand or approve.
If you read this and your grandmother is still living, please let her know how much you love her. You never know when she will be taken from you and all you will have left is your memories.