Life Lessons

*****Another one from a previous day******

On the day God blesses us with children, we begin an interesting journey. A journey that proves to be more fraught with roadblocks than we ever imagined. As good, free thinking adults we know that it is our job to instruct them through life. Little do we realize that the teaching never ends.
When they are little, we pound into their consciousness not to talk to strangers, look both ways when crossing streets and never run with scissors. We teach them not to bite their playmates and to share their treasured toys. Fortunately, fear is a good teacher. It is the fear of burning their hand that makes them not touch the stove. In teen-age years, the fear of “getting in trouble” often helps them make better decisions.
Lessons in morality they learn merely from watching the adults around them and either decide that things are okay or probably not. They have watched television, movies and listened to adults talk about things which may scare or confuse them and we try to bring clarity about these things. They are touched by events happening on the fringes of their lives but to some degree they are insulated by the adults responsible for them. Unfortunately, often parents never give up the desire to insulate them and in doing so, we encourage bad habits.
As they grow the lessons change. Suddenly, we need to impart the need for modesty, respect and chastity. They need to learn to be responsible and dependable. And here is where we start to miss the mark. Fear isn’t a factor anymore. They no longer fear our disapproval, therefore, they aren’t afraid to stretch the boundaries. We teach them to be irresponsible by accepting excuses for why they aren’t responsible or we take it upon ourselves to do the things they should be doing for themselves. Dependability is not as important as making sure that whatever they want is accomplished before they do what is expected of them. And fear has moved to the other side of the playing field. Now we are the ones who are afraid that if we instruct them in certain areas, they won’t like us anymore. We forget that they will always love us, but fail to recognize that it is not always necessary that they like us.
Suddenly, they have embarked upon their own lives. They are still suspicious of strangers, they are careful crossing streets and they certainly would never bite someone except a playful nip here and there. The childhood lessons seemed to have fallen on very fertile soil, taken root and flourished. They are pretty good at sharing, for the most part play nicely with most people and seem to have a fairly good working knowledge of right and wrong.
And, as parents, we sit back and think our work here is done. Now we can just watch them take flight and enjoy them. They like us, we are their friend. This is where we have let our children down. As they become adults living in a difficult world, grey areas in life become larger. If they are still looking at life in Technicolor they are probably headed for trouble. If they have lost their black and white vision and are either seeing life through rosy glasses or the lines between right and wrong have become blurred it is our duty to adjust the picture.
As adults it becomes necessary for them to learn life’s real lessons. The lessons of reliability, humility, responsibility need to be readdressed for their sake. But the lesson of simple human forgiveness, the most important lesson they can learn, falls by the road and lies like a piece of trash. The lesson of learning to forgive others is the one lesson they will learn that will make life easier for them every day they live it. If they are encouraged to harbor disappointments, hurts, and offenses and not forgive, the fabric of their life will be unalterably changed. And teaching this will not make a parent popular because no one wants to learn this lesson.
Forgiving another human being brings peace to us like nothing else can. For it is in forgiving that we can somewhat achieve Christ like behavior. For the sins of man He gave His perfect life and asked nothing in return except that we try to emulate Him. I wonder if any of us ever had anyone expect us to die for their mistakes. Or do we instead, choose to crucify perceived offenders over and over again?
In our lives, we all fall short of the mark, but we must continue to try.
If we don’t continue to instruct our children to forgive, the world will soon become a very nasty place to be. It is not enough to forgive people who are easy to forgive. We must learn to forgive the people that take work. How much of an impact would Christ have made on the world if He had died only for the people who loved Him? Wouldn’t we all do this? But He chose to be crucified for the people who hated Him, tortured Him and denied His very existence.
We will never know in our lives, the number of people who are waiting to love us in return if we allow it. Or the number of people who love us in spite of our behavior. We also aren’t good at looking at our own “sins.” We can see the things that people do to us so clearly and can justify our own faults so quickly.
As parents, our lessons should never stop. We should never let our judgment become so clouded by affection for our children that we give up the right to instruct. We need to be constantly vigilant for signs that their ability to see situations clearly is becoming skewed. While it may appear they are as right as can be, it is our duty to make sure they see the impact they have on others around them. There has been but one perfect person. None of us will ever live up to the standards set by Him. We will all bring pain to others in our lifetime, but if we want forgiveness for ourselves, we must forgive others. We must also teach them that asking for forgiveness is not weakness but a sign of simple faith. In learning to mend the rips and tears in life we learn to trust others with our hearts. Offering our heart in an act of forgiveness binds us together in ways that cross over blood ties and family.
We must teach our children that life is a fleeting moment and what happens here will determine our destiny. Things on earth matter but it is what we will take with us that matters most. If we fail them in faith, trust, love and forgiveness all the other lessons we have taught will be useless.