When Is The Right Time?

One of the things I am guilty of is procrastinating. I’m not the worst procrastinator I know. That distinction goes to “he who shall remain nameless.” You can give me a deadline and I will meet it – I might wait until 15 minutes to D-Day, but meet it I will. But leave me to my own devices with loads of time and I will find 100 perfectly good reasons why right now just isn’t a good time.
Recently, I have been watching some of my friends who are just stepping out and making RIGHT NOW the right time. I am inspired…humbled and in awe of their willingness to throw caution to the wind - and move. They are stepping out of their comfort zones, and pulling from the depths of their souls the dreams only they can see. As they do so, they cast them on the water for us to capture in our nets. Gathering their dreams gives us a piece of them and allows us to dream along with them.
You know they say if you wait until you can afford a baby you will never have a baby. Well, consider your dreams the biggest baby you will ever bring to life. But unlike a living breathing human that is ours to enjoy for a lifetime, our dreams can be fleeting moments that must be seized. And, not just seized. They must be gripped, wrung out and hung to dry in the winds of time. For once they are hung there, they remain, tangible pieces of themselves ripped open for the world to see, hear and enjoy.
Not everyone is driven to leave behind a work of art, a story, a photograph or an epic poem. But some are. There are those who spend their entire existence in the pursuit of their dreams and they leave behind things most of us can’t fathom in our wildest imaginations. However, I am of the opinion, that we all have a “lasting” piece of work within us. And, I dare say, we all know what it is - we just need to let it go.
Part of our reluctance to pursue our dreams, our passions if you will, is a crippling and paralyzing fear of failure. What if we only think we have something profound to say, or beautiful to express. None of us want to put the children of our hopes and dreams beneath the feet of others and see them trampled into the dirt. Or even worse, be laughed at for our attempt.
And, sometimes we are crippled by the fear of a small success. What if that one painting, one book, one photograph is a fluke and we are destined to be just another “one hit wonder.” Well, so what? So one is all that is in us – is that such a bad thing? I would rather create one wonderful moment than a thousand less than great ones.
I’ve always loved to write, and I dabbled in poetry when I was younger. I found it gave me an avenue to express my feelings without hurting anyone else. I am not a good poet – I still write poetry that rhymes and that seems to have fallen out of favor. But I know some good poets and their words paint the most inexplicably beautiful images in my imagination.
As I aged, I found that I had very strong opinions about almost everything and I wanted to be able to say what I thought without being shouted down by someone else. I also learned that I had an above average intelligence and could express myself and speak for others at the same time.
The really cool thing about writing is no one is interrupting your train of thought – you have a captive audience – even if there’s no one reading. But, the more I wrote, the more I found that there were actually some people who agreed with me.
I am not naïve enough to think that there aren’t those that vehemently disagree with me as well. But, I have been fortunate in the fact that either because of wonderfully good manners or a love of me that allows me a voice, they don’t shoot darts in my balloon. Whatever, their reasons, I am grateful. So grateful in fact, that when I disagree with some of them, I just keep my mouth shut.
But, I kept getting these pushes, nudges to do more, be more. The people who love me encouraged me constantly to do something with what I have. And I fought them every step of the way. I didn’t have enough material, my material wasn’t good enough, I was too busy, too sad, too tired and yes, too danged lazy.
The more I fought them, the more ashamed I became of wasting myself. I was beginning to want to leave something behind that was permanent, lasting and ME. At some point I wanted my grandchildren to be able to pick up something tangible and say…..my Grandmother did this. Because even though to me it may be a bit silly and trivial, chances are it will be neither of those things to them.
And so, even though today may not be the RIGHT TIME, it is MY time. My time to stop delaying, to end the excuse making, and to cast my meager catch on the shore and see who claims it. It is my time to move out of the constantly creating zone and try to make something happen. I must stop re-writing, re-drawing, re-thinking and be happy with what I have now.
For if I wait until everything is perfect, it never will be. What I have to do is understand the perfection of right now. And so, I’m moving out of my cozy and safe place and stepping in the great unknown. I’m going to publish my books even if I have to do it myself. And if the only ones I sell are to myself and the people who genuinely love me – that’s okay.
One day my dreams will die with me unless I choose to leave them here. Unless I choose to share that secret and most hidden part of myself, no one else will ever know. My grandchildren will never really know me and I want them to. I want them to know there was something different about me, something a little crazy, a little brave. It is important to me that they know I was not afraid to “seize my moment” and make whatever time I had the RIGHT TIME.
So, if you are waiting for your right time – why not now? This may be the only time you get - so grab hold and ride it for all its’ worth. I’ll be there on the sidelines cheering you on as you live YOUR moment, just as you have done for me.

……and how was your day? I would really like to know. lkbeshears@sbcglobal.net