Keep It Under Your Hat

OKAY...............so my big blood pressure accelerator this morning was seeing a news article about Florida's representative who has apparently blown her stack over her hat - or hats as it turns out.
Since the 1800s there has been a ban on hats on the House floor. Remember...guys used to never go anywhere without their toppers. I love looking at old baseball clips and seeing all those fellas sitting in the stands in their slacks and dress shirts complete with ties and hats. But I digress!
Now the freshman rep from Florida Ms. Wilson who apparently ALSO never leaves home uncapped has come uncorked because they won't let her wear her hats on the House floor.
According to Ms. Wilson it is sexist. Hmmmmmm - let me think about this for just a 'mo.
If it were sexist wouldn't it be because guys were allowed to wear hats and women were not?
Now she is demanding this ban be lifted for HER and it looks like the only way to do so is with a full vote of the House. Are you freakin' kidding me?! Seriously, I would almost drive to Washington to slap the crap out of this silly wench. A hat? You are getting your panties in a wad over a hat? Are there no unemployed people in your state? Are there no abused children? No homeless and starving constituents? Are there no abandoned and neglected animals?
By this woman's own confession, she owns over 300 hats - enough to fill a whole room in her house. Again.......really?
I have to admit some of her hats are quite noteworthy. She tends to lean toward cowboy hats (and I use the term loosely.) There is just no telling how much these hats cost - I think it is pretty costly and time consuming to Bedazzle a cowboy hat so fetchingly.
I kept thinking as I read this column "Surely, they are going to say, she has decided to auction off her hats and give the money to charity." But NO. Instead she wants to waste taxpayer time and money by forcing the House to do a full vote to allow her to turn their proceedings into a fashion parade. I don't know about you, but doins' up there on Capitol Hill are already enough of a carnival act for me.
I intend to write a letter on this one because I see a bad end to this. If she is allowed to have her way what happens next? Her chapeaus will become larger and more extravagant (diverting attention away from what is truly important) - our more macho fellows will don the ball caps of their favorite sports teams and the guys who embrace a more feminine side of their personality might show up wearing stilettos and feather boas.
So.....put that in your hat and stuff it.