This will probably be my last posting. On the outside possibility that there is anyone who reads regularly I thought I would at least give them the courtesy of saying goodbye.
I can accomplish some of what I hoped to do with this by simply keeping a journal for myself. I had hoped to stimulate some interesting feedback with a blog but that has failed to materialize.
I have enjoyed doing it and it has certainly honed some of my lesser computer skills but it isn't productive for anyone to simply come to the site just to read. In fact things like that can become a chore and I know everyone is much busier than they care to be right now.
Life really is a bowl of cherries. If you find a yucky one every now and then it only makes the perfect and sweet pieces all the more enjoyable.
Kisses to all and to all a goodnight.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Beshears Karma
Anyone in our family can tell you that as a group we have the most unusual Karma. Take us to a restaurant no matter how classy and if there is one obnoxious A**hole in the place we will be seated next to them. Actually this rule applies to all public events and functions as well.
Projects are afflicted with the need to make at least a dozen trips to various stores to obtain tools, parts, etc. that we already have but can no longer locate. Which means our projects never truly end and the cycle of beginning, restocking, running out of time just repeats over and over again in a dizzying circle.
Trips are the best though. Any trip involving any member of the Beshears family can prove to be something that could be filmed for a revival of the Three Stooges. We might forget to obtain sufficient cash for our trip, leave our debit card at home and then experience a car part failure of epic proportions. We are capable of getting lost in places we have been before. We have engaged the house alarm only to go back in to retrieve something quickly and drive off leaving our home alarm alerting, police, firemen, etc. while we are blissfully oblivious of the chaos that ensues at home.
We have been known to set off our household smoke alarm while merely taking a shower. The fire department finally quit coming so if we ever have a legitimate fire, we are losing everything we own due to "crying wolf" waaaay too many times.
We have welded items of jewelry to our bodies while changing a car battery.
We have hammered our fingers & banged our heads (sometimes twice on the same object within 5 minutes.)
We (meaning I) have bagged a seemingly dead possum in a force flex trash bag only to have the possum escape taking trash bag with it. This one still really bothers me.
We (meaning I) have trapped my car inside the garage with a broken garage door which meant I couldn't get my car out.
We (meaning I) have gotten my big fat butt stuck atop a 6 foot privacy fence trying to retrieve a dumb dog that can't stay in her own yard (shame there's no pictures.) However, I did have severely bruised inner thighs to show for that one.
We are dangerous to ourselves and other living creatures and yet we survive. However, approach us with caution. Because if we don't kill you with our Karma, you might just die laughing.
Projects are afflicted with the need to make at least a dozen trips to various stores to obtain tools, parts, etc. that we already have but can no longer locate. Which means our projects never truly end and the cycle of beginning, restocking, running out of time just repeats over and over again in a dizzying circle.
Trips are the best though. Any trip involving any member of the Beshears family can prove to be something that could be filmed for a revival of the Three Stooges. We might forget to obtain sufficient cash for our trip, leave our debit card at home and then experience a car part failure of epic proportions. We are capable of getting lost in places we have been before. We have engaged the house alarm only to go back in to retrieve something quickly and drive off leaving our home alarm alerting, police, firemen, etc. while we are blissfully oblivious of the chaos that ensues at home.
We have been known to set off our household smoke alarm while merely taking a shower. The fire department finally quit coming so if we ever have a legitimate fire, we are losing everything we own due to "crying wolf" waaaay too many times.
We have welded items of jewelry to our bodies while changing a car battery.
We have hammered our fingers & banged our heads (sometimes twice on the same object within 5 minutes.)
We (meaning I) have bagged a seemingly dead possum in a force flex trash bag only to have the possum escape taking trash bag with it. This one still really bothers me.
We (meaning I) have trapped my car inside the garage with a broken garage door which meant I couldn't get my car out.
We (meaning I) have gotten my big fat butt stuck atop a 6 foot privacy fence trying to retrieve a dumb dog that can't stay in her own yard (shame there's no pictures.) However, I did have severely bruised inner thighs to show for that one.
We are dangerous to ourselves and other living creatures and yet we survive. However, approach us with caution. Because if we don't kill you with our Karma, you might just die laughing.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Full Moon over Miami & Dallas & Fort Smith
Tonight is the biggest full moon of the year and WOW! It is pretty spectacular. And according to scientist, there is no proof that a full moon makes people crazy. Dogs however are a different story.
I am posting a picture I took tonight and it turned out pretty good. This is the last you will hear from me tonight as I'm feeling pretty punked. Have had a blistering headache for 3 days that will not go away so I'm thinking of putting it to bed with a narcotic of some sort.
Have a fun evening. My grandma used to call these moons "spooning moons" so if you have a sweetie, it's time to do some spooning (and I'm not talking about the kind you do in bed) just some good old fashioned hand holding and deep kissing and meaningful sighs. Let me know how it works out for you. :)
Always Go For The Big Finish
When all my grandkids were little and we would sing a song, I would always instruct them to "always go for the big finish." Last night I watched 3 of them in the same program and their music teacher obviously thinks the big finish is important as well.
They all sang their hearts out and each song ended with the final line delivered with gusto! It reminded me that I need to follow my own instruction as well. I need to "go for the big finish" in all I do. Our lives are but a moment so we should always be living as if the big finish is in sight.
I was sitting with some family members (thanks Pat for giving up your seat to a tired old lady.) We were trying to help our youngest grandson see his cousins on the stage. It was hard for him to pick out 1 person among so many squirming little bodies. Eventually he spied Genevieve in her snow hat with her fists rolled into binoculars trying to see family in the crowd. After his uncle walked up close to the stage he was able to see "his Abby" and then PawPaw helped him to see Audrey in her little angel costume to which he stated "Audrey's pretty."
My one regret from last night is that my camera flash is not sufficient to light up my subjects to get decent pictures. I guess my goal this year should be to remedy that situation. I want to do a better job of documenting the year so doing PawPaws calendar next year won't be so challenging. Gotta run, tons to do.
Fa la la la la...........la...........la.........la...........la!
They all sang their hearts out and each song ended with the final line delivered with gusto! It reminded me that I need to follow my own instruction as well. I need to "go for the big finish" in all I do. Our lives are but a moment so we should always be living as if the big finish is in sight.
I was sitting with some family members (thanks Pat for giving up your seat to a tired old lady.) We were trying to help our youngest grandson see his cousins on the stage. It was hard for him to pick out 1 person among so many squirming little bodies. Eventually he spied Genevieve in her snow hat with her fists rolled into binoculars trying to see family in the crowd. After his uncle walked up close to the stage he was able to see "his Abby" and then PawPaw helped him to see Audrey in her little angel costume to which he stated "Audrey's pretty."
My one regret from last night is that my camera flash is not sufficient to light up my subjects to get decent pictures. I guess my goal this year should be to remedy that situation. I want to do a better job of documenting the year so doing PawPaws calendar next year won't be so challenging. Gotta run, tons to do.
Fa la la la la...........la...........la.........la...........la!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Could I Have a Clone Please
Two band concerts in 2 nights makes for very tired meemaw. Of course, tonight I was all set to take a hot bath and change into a fresh set of pajamas when I realized I had somewhere to be at 7:00. I made it just in time. I'm not sure how I looked but I didn't have pjs on which I think is a plus.
I have tomorrow off (I think) and then I can get 3 programs all rolled into 1 on Thursday night. I love this time of the year. It sure keeps me hopping.
It is cooooooooooold tonight. Wow! The wind is blowing and it is downright uncomfortable here in Pigland.
For the 5th time in 2 years, I have been chosen to report for jury duty. Since I was always the only employee at Bellah's I always got a pass. But now, I have no excuse and truthfully I'm kind of looking forward to it. I have a theory that a lot of stupid things happen in our court system because there are so many people who have nothing else to do are filling up the jury box. It will be an interesting experience for me. Maybe I will get to sit on something really exciting.
I have my holiday decorating done except for outside and it really looks like that won't happen. I've wasted too many pretty days. Not stressing over it though.
Santa Claus has been shipping his excess baggage to my house for weeks now. According to him, my grandchildren have been so good that he couldn't pack all their gifts on his sleigh this year so I am providing him a warehouse.
I'm looking forward to the holiday. For once I have plenty of time, am rested and not rushed. Can't wait for Pawpaw to read the Christmas Story out of the Bible. And I think the grandkids and I may just have some fun with The Night Before Christmas.
Signing off now, Darling Husband will be home in a jiffy and I like to spend some time with him before nitey nite. :)
I have tomorrow off (I think) and then I can get 3 programs all rolled into 1 on Thursday night. I love this time of the year. It sure keeps me hopping.
It is cooooooooooold tonight. Wow! The wind is blowing and it is downright uncomfortable here in Pigland.
For the 5th time in 2 years, I have been chosen to report for jury duty. Since I was always the only employee at Bellah's I always got a pass. But now, I have no excuse and truthfully I'm kind of looking forward to it. I have a theory that a lot of stupid things happen in our court system because there are so many people who have nothing else to do are filling up the jury box. It will be an interesting experience for me. Maybe I will get to sit on something really exciting.
I have my holiday decorating done except for outside and it really looks like that won't happen. I've wasted too many pretty days. Not stressing over it though.
Santa Claus has been shipping his excess baggage to my house for weeks now. According to him, my grandchildren have been so good that he couldn't pack all their gifts on his sleigh this year so I am providing him a warehouse.
I'm looking forward to the holiday. For once I have plenty of time, am rested and not rushed. Can't wait for Pawpaw to read the Christmas Story out of the Bible. And I think the grandkids and I may just have some fun with The Night Before Christmas.
Signing off now, Darling Husband will be home in a jiffy and I like to spend some time with him before nitey nite. :)
Monday, December 8, 2008
Reindeer Droppings
I am going to have a Christmas cookie exchange for the girls in the family. I am so excited. I've waited many, many, many years to have the time at Christmas to do little extra fun things that we can do as a family. So I'm looking forward to loads of yummy cookies. PawPaw has really stepped up to the plate for me and has volunteered to take all the little people to the movies. Not sure how he plans on transporting them there but I'm leaving the logistics up to him.
I bought cute paper for my invites and even sprang for the recipe cards for everyone.
Miss Genenvieve is here now helping me with the remainder of my holiday indoor decorating. She was a huge help. Of course my projects are in direct conflict with something called Wow Wow Wubzie but I seem to be holding my own. :)
Gotta go, just learned that one of the grandchildren has a band concert tonight and I'm not exactly sure how we are going to make that work out. Miss G just may have to go with us.
Cherry kisses!
I bought cute paper for my invites and even sprang for the recipe cards for everyone.
Miss Genenvieve is here now helping me with the remainder of my holiday indoor decorating. She was a huge help. Of course my projects are in direct conflict with something called Wow Wow Wubzie but I seem to be holding my own. :)
Gotta go, just learned that one of the grandchildren has a band concert tonight and I'm not exactly sure how we are going to make that work out. Miss G just may have to go with us.
Cherry kisses!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Deck the Halls and the Walls
WooooooHooooooo! My Christmas tree is up....the yuletide season can commence. After Roger's La Huerta birthday extravaganza everyone came back to the house and we hauled out all the holiday stuff. Angie was kind enough to put up my tree and string the lights (my least favorite thing to do. The grandkids put the ornaments on and after hanging about 50 ornaments on 3 branches, we redistributed and everything looks very festive.
Genevieve very kindly consented to Audrey putting the star on top of the tree this year so she is coming tomorrow to help me place all my Christmas dustibles. She was very gracious about it.
I went by the future nursery site and picked out the paint for my new office. I am very pleased it is a nice sunny gold color. I am very excited to be able to look forward to this new enterprise.
I'm pretty pooped. We had dinner at Shogun last night. We were treated by Larin and Jennie (thanks!) and then Mexican today for lunch. I'm stuffed and ready to roll...into bed that is.
If the rest of the holiday season goes as well as the past month has, I will be wonderfully pleased. If the weather is pretty tomorrow I will work on my outdoor decor and that will satisfy me a lot.
My last blog for today. Blogs and kisses everybody!
Huge smoochies and squnchies!
PS: Isn't this a cute Christmas canvas. Angie painted it. I love it!
The Person You Want To Be
Lately I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the person I am and more importantly the person I want to be. The expression that God isn't finished with us yet is certainly a fact. We grow, change, and evolve all the time. Every life event imprints on us and can reshape the person we are. Notice I said CAN. It doesn't have to be that way.
It is easy to watch the storms of life batter our little lifeboats to pieces and allow ourselves to sink beneath the waves. Sometimes we are fortunate and someone throws us a life preserver. Other times we have to reach deep within ourselves and find the courage to swim like crazy to shore.
It is said that no man is an island unto himself. How true is this. Just as we as humans cannot exist without others of our kind, so do the things that affect us ripple out to others. Everything that happens to us not only has a lasting effect on us personally, it also reaches out and touches others.
I spent a great deal of my life mad, sad, depressed, upset, regretful, resentful and on and on. So many of my character traits hurt people around me. A marriage was ruined, children were hurt and I was too selfish and stubborn to learn. I absolutely refused to accept that I had a hand in the things that went wrong.
Of course, eventually I grew up mentally. I came to realize that I had made an awful mess of things. Then the fun really began. I took all of that bad stuff that had happened, shoved it in big old trunk and placed it on my shoulders and began to carry it around with me. The weight of all that guilt, sadness and hurt was enormous and it caused me to sink lower and lower until it finally crushed me.
I never believed it when people told me I was talented, smart, funny, beautiful and valuable. But when the old devil told me I was worthless, ugly, evil and responsible for everything bad that happened....I sure believed him. After all, he was holding up the mirror I was used to looking in and it only confirmed what I believed about myself.
Maybe because I so desperately want to be a better child of God, I decided to give faith a chance. I was much older but I still had loads of people in my life that I loved and wanted to be better for. And they deserved to have the best me I could give them. Even though tons of crap had been sent down the tube, I still had a shovel and was willing to work. I couldn't change yesterday, it had disappeared into history. Tomorrow, was a different story. Tomorrow had not yet been written, I could make my own history with the work I did.
And work it was. Everyday when I woke up I had to make myself look in the mirror and see the person I despised the most. And I had to tell that person that I loved them and was glad to see them. I also had to make myself find one good thing about waking up and living another day. That thing that I found each day had to be packed away in my heart and repeated over and over again. I had to fight the urge to be down on myself and others, learn to be more tolerant of other people's shortcomings and I had to grant myself absolute forgiveness.
I was fortunate. I had people who were valuable to me that I was willing to fight for. Sure it makes me sad that my kids didn't have THIS mother when they were growing up. I can't change that, but I can try to be what they need today. It makes me sad that I wasn't THIS wife before. But I have a spectacular husband who deserves to have the wife I have become. It makes me sad that I didn't try to understand my mother and realize that she fought demons of her own. I wish I could have been a daughter she could be proud of. But fortunately she is still living and she can be proud of me now. I wish I could have been a better friend. It is impossible to have friends without first being a friend. I am blessed that I have a few good friends who love me in spite of who I've been before.
I want to be happy, I want to be valued for my intelligence and common sense, I want to be loved. I want a lot of things but I've come to realize that in order to have all the things I want, I have to give them away. More than anything else I don't want to look back on my whole life and realize that I wasted even one precious moment feeling sorry for myself, being mad, or unhappy. Life is a gift and no matter how badly we wrap it, it is still a treasure of great worth. We can waste it or we can use it. We need to remember that others are watching how we unwrap our gift and it will influence how they view their own.
So, my goal is to continue to look in the mirror and decide if I'm seeing the person I am or the person I want to be. Hopefully, one day both those people will be one and the same.
It is easy to watch the storms of life batter our little lifeboats to pieces and allow ourselves to sink beneath the waves. Sometimes we are fortunate and someone throws us a life preserver. Other times we have to reach deep within ourselves and find the courage to swim like crazy to shore.
It is said that no man is an island unto himself. How true is this. Just as we as humans cannot exist without others of our kind, so do the things that affect us ripple out to others. Everything that happens to us not only has a lasting effect on us personally, it also reaches out and touches others.
I spent a great deal of my life mad, sad, depressed, upset, regretful, resentful and on and on. So many of my character traits hurt people around me. A marriage was ruined, children were hurt and I was too selfish and stubborn to learn. I absolutely refused to accept that I had a hand in the things that went wrong.
Of course, eventually I grew up mentally. I came to realize that I had made an awful mess of things. Then the fun really began. I took all of that bad stuff that had happened, shoved it in big old trunk and placed it on my shoulders and began to carry it around with me. The weight of all that guilt, sadness and hurt was enormous and it caused me to sink lower and lower until it finally crushed me.
I never believed it when people told me I was talented, smart, funny, beautiful and valuable. But when the old devil told me I was worthless, ugly, evil and responsible for everything bad that happened....I sure believed him. After all, he was holding up the mirror I was used to looking in and it only confirmed what I believed about myself.
Maybe because I so desperately want to be a better child of God, I decided to give faith a chance. I was much older but I still had loads of people in my life that I loved and wanted to be better for. And they deserved to have the best me I could give them. Even though tons of crap had been sent down the tube, I still had a shovel and was willing to work. I couldn't change yesterday, it had disappeared into history. Tomorrow, was a different story. Tomorrow had not yet been written, I could make my own history with the work I did.
And work it was. Everyday when I woke up I had to make myself look in the mirror and see the person I despised the most. And I had to tell that person that I loved them and was glad to see them. I also had to make myself find one good thing about waking up and living another day. That thing that I found each day had to be packed away in my heart and repeated over and over again. I had to fight the urge to be down on myself and others, learn to be more tolerant of other people's shortcomings and I had to grant myself absolute forgiveness.
I was fortunate. I had people who were valuable to me that I was willing to fight for. Sure it makes me sad that my kids didn't have THIS mother when they were growing up. I can't change that, but I can try to be what they need today. It makes me sad that I wasn't THIS wife before. But I have a spectacular husband who deserves to have the wife I have become. It makes me sad that I didn't try to understand my mother and realize that she fought demons of her own. I wish I could have been a daughter she could be proud of. But fortunately she is still living and she can be proud of me now. I wish I could have been a better friend. It is impossible to have friends without first being a friend. I am blessed that I have a few good friends who love me in spite of who I've been before.
I want to be happy, I want to be valued for my intelligence and common sense, I want to be loved. I want a lot of things but I've come to realize that in order to have all the things I want, I have to give them away. More than anything else I don't want to look back on my whole life and realize that I wasted even one precious moment feeling sorry for myself, being mad, or unhappy. Life is a gift and no matter how badly we wrap it, it is still a treasure of great worth. We can waste it or we can use it. We need to remember that others are watching how we unwrap our gift and it will influence how they view their own.
So, my goal is to continue to look in the mirror and decide if I'm seeing the person I am or the person I want to be. Hopefully, one day both those people will be one and the same.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Good Times with Good Friends
My BFF Judy and I had a great day today. It is the first time we have gone anywhere together just the 2 of us in ages. We went to a great little holiday open house and Judy did some Christmas shopping. We had lunch at a terrific "do lunch" place (thanks Stacy for the tip about the Chicken Pasta Salad.) Judy went to the Harley Store and then we went to Atwoods to buy dog crack. Seriously, these dog treats are the best, my dogs would paint the house for them.
We are going to dinner with Larin and Jennie tonight (Shoguns ........(insert crazed happy dancing here)) and tomorrow we are doing family lunch at 2:00 at La Huerta in honor of Roger's birthday. Hopefully, I will be able to get my holiday decorations out of the attic sometime tomorrow and start on my decorating.
Must run, need nap, having all this fun is exhausting!
:)
We are going to dinner with Larin and Jennie tonight (Shoguns ........(insert crazed happy dancing here)) and tomorrow we are doing family lunch at 2:00 at La Huerta in honor of Roger's birthday. Hopefully, I will be able to get my holiday decorations out of the attic sometime tomorrow and start on my decorating.
Must run, need nap, having all this fun is exhausting!
:)
Friday, December 5, 2008
Picture
Thought I would share about the picture with the orange sky and rock mountains. I painted this picture a couple of months ago and recently took a picture of it, uploaded it to Blingee (blinkee?) and added the Santa hat to the orb and made it snow on the mountains. Fun stuff, I never knew Blogging could be so interesting. Maybe my new job will be Blog worthy as well. Maybe I'll call it Green with ivy!
I am working on another landscape. This one is a little more detailed. Mountains, meadows, a barn and a path. I really like it so far but I will probably not get back around to painting on it until after the holidays.
Tomorrow I am going to measure my future office and pick out paint for it. I'm excited to see what my choices are, hopefully there will be one that that just screams ME! I also am going to Angie's Christmas open house at her salon. I think my good friend Judy and my darling daughter are going with me so I'm excited about having a girl's day out.
Went and let Debbra cut my hair today - it was getting a little out of control.
Just watched the creepiest movie on TV. It was called The Strangers. Just about scared me out of my pajamas. Speaking of which.....Santa Baby, I need lounging britches, I've blown the seat out of 2 pair in the past 2 weeks. No, no, I'm quite sure I don't need to lose a few pounds.
Gotta go and put the bod to bed.
Smoochies! :)
I am working on another landscape. This one is a little more detailed. Mountains, meadows, a barn and a path. I really like it so far but I will probably not get back around to painting on it until after the holidays.
Tomorrow I am going to measure my future office and pick out paint for it. I'm excited to see what my choices are, hopefully there will be one that that just screams ME! I also am going to Angie's Christmas open house at her salon. I think my good friend Judy and my darling daughter are going with me so I'm excited about having a girl's day out.
Went and let Debbra cut my hair today - it was getting a little out of control.
Just watched the creepiest movie on TV. It was called The Strangers. Just about scared me out of my pajamas. Speaking of which.....Santa Baby, I need lounging britches, I've blown the seat out of 2 pair in the past 2 weeks. No, no, I'm quite sure I don't need to lose a few pounds.
Gotta go and put the bod to bed.
Smoochies! :)
The Clock is Ticking
I'm starting to regret putting that Christmas countdown counter on my blog. It has started to infect me with a real sense of urgency. It also seems like it is moving at light speed toward the point of no return. Don't get me wrong. I have done some things to prepare, but I'm just not motivated enough.
I have a couple of little things to do today and then I'm really going to start getting serious about my house decorating. I don't know if I will be able to do anything outside, but I can at least get my tree up and decorated.
Since no one hardly ever comments on The Cherry Bowl, I challenge you to leave a comment and tell me what you want Santa to bring you this year. I'll start.
This year for Christmas, I want blogger comments.
I have a couple of little things to do today and then I'm really going to start getting serious about my house decorating. I don't know if I will be able to do anything outside, but I can at least get my tree up and decorated.
Since no one hardly ever comments on The Cherry Bowl, I challenge you to leave a comment and tell me what you want Santa to bring you this year. I'll start.
This year for Christmas, I want blogger comments.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Things We Bring
Life is an ever evolving movie full of twists and turns. Within each of us lies a story interesting beyond words if we could only know how to tell it. Watch any movie and there will be times when you are excited, depressed, happy, sad and incredulous that such things could really happen. But guess what? Amazing things do happen in ordinary people’s lives that we never know about, never see. And as quickly as those amazing moments flash alive, they flicker into memory and are stored away.
I am forever amazed at the complexity of the human relationship. Relationships have a maze like quality. No two are the same. One might lead us on an incredible journey while another may lead us to a dead end with no easy way out.
When people are young, perhaps 14 or so they begin to seek out relationships with an opposite of their gender. Most of their experience has been with family or friends who are like them. Suddenly they begin to notice pleasing aspects in members of the opposite sex.
These relationships are the first step in their travelogue of life. A young boy and girl bring to this experience an innocence. An almost pure attraction. Not yet have they been wounded by others so they explore this relationship with excitement. They are learning themselves in a whole new way. They are fun to watch although often they are almost nauseating in their innocent enjoyment of having a significant other. Sometimes these relationships which are born in youth, endure, grow and last a lifetime. Unfortunately, more often they die a natural death and the participants move on to another playing field.
No relationship that follows will have the same purity of spirit. For suddenly, there has been hurt. Someone cared more than the other and someone’s heart developed a little crack. And that slightly damaged heart is forced to move along life’s highway in search of another vehicle. The hurting person now brings with them a wariness and distrust. The offender develops a self assured cockiness that thickens the skin and hardens the heart ever so slightly.
These two people move in and out of life. Through darkness and light they bump against other travelers and sometimes they rest in a new relationship for a while. And the mold has been set, the die cast. The hurting heart usually continues to be battered about and indeed can even look for the ability to inflict pain in others. The crack becomes bigger exposing tender parts beneath.
It isn’t that a damaged person really wants to be hurt, but they have grown used to it. It clouds the vision and they can no longer “see” those qualities of pure affection. Deep inside, they yearn for something better, different, healthy. But they bring that poor little hurting heart along for every ride they take and soon the trip just doesn’t seem worth it at all.
And so, human beings bring along their baggage into every future relationship. Some have cute little monogrammed tote bags and they cringe at the sight of someone struggling to load their steamer trunk into a new experience. But all baggage both large or small is problematic. Because we bring it with us, we are never free of the events that packed it in the first place. Sometimes we even like to sit and go through our suitcases full of issues and relive them. It hurts and feels good all at the same time, like picking at a scab. Unfortunately, once we are through examining the contents of our luggage, we carefully repack it. We never seem to find even one little item that we can leave behind. In fact, now that we’ve began the reloading, we often find we have more to put back than when we unpacked. And so, we bring ever increasing numbers of cases and boxes. Now we need a cart to load them on. Soon instead of us hauling them, they are dragging us down the road of life. Occasionally, they can stack themselves into huge roadblocks that keep us from going forward and we’re much to afraid to go back. After all, we know what happened before.
The things we bring can be changed but it isn’t easy. Imagine getting to your destination without your luggage. Everything familiar is in that suitcase. Some of it you don’t even really need; you brought it “just in case.” That suitcase is a part of you, in essence it IS you. Now what? What if that piece of baggage is lost forever. What if it winds up in a baggage room in Milwaukee, untagged and unclaimed.
After mourning the fact that it is indeed lost, cursing the careless handling by those in charge and wringing your hands about what to do, you decide. You get yourself to the nearest all purpose store and buy a new toothbrush, shampoo and a pair of serviceable undies. You hang your travel worn clothes on the shower rod and run a hot bath and steam the wrinkles out of your slacks and your spirit as well.
And tomorrow the sun rises like always and you are still part of life. That suitcase may be missing, but you are still here. And, because you’ve lost your luggage, there is a brand new aspect to your existence.
None of us will live and love and be unchanged. We each will hurt and be hurt. We will stand and fall and stand again. We will bring our experience with us and try to educate our children.
What I hope is that along the way, we can begin to cast aside our baggage. It isn’t in the failure of a relationship that we find the thorn. The thorn is in never trying again, never allowing ourselves to trust. The thorn is waiting in one of those suitcases to prick our finger and make us remember our pain.
So bring with you instead your injured heart with a bright shiny SpongeBob band-aid. Open your heart instead of your baggage. Make the thing you bring a willingness to try and try and try again and bring your love and allow it to seek its’ mirror.
I am forever amazed at the complexity of the human relationship. Relationships have a maze like quality. No two are the same. One might lead us on an incredible journey while another may lead us to a dead end with no easy way out.
When people are young, perhaps 14 or so they begin to seek out relationships with an opposite of their gender. Most of their experience has been with family or friends who are like them. Suddenly they begin to notice pleasing aspects in members of the opposite sex.
These relationships are the first step in their travelogue of life. A young boy and girl bring to this experience an innocence. An almost pure attraction. Not yet have they been wounded by others so they explore this relationship with excitement. They are learning themselves in a whole new way. They are fun to watch although often they are almost nauseating in their innocent enjoyment of having a significant other. Sometimes these relationships which are born in youth, endure, grow and last a lifetime. Unfortunately, more often they die a natural death and the participants move on to another playing field.
No relationship that follows will have the same purity of spirit. For suddenly, there has been hurt. Someone cared more than the other and someone’s heart developed a little crack. And that slightly damaged heart is forced to move along life’s highway in search of another vehicle. The hurting person now brings with them a wariness and distrust. The offender develops a self assured cockiness that thickens the skin and hardens the heart ever so slightly.
These two people move in and out of life. Through darkness and light they bump against other travelers and sometimes they rest in a new relationship for a while. And the mold has been set, the die cast. The hurting heart usually continues to be battered about and indeed can even look for the ability to inflict pain in others. The crack becomes bigger exposing tender parts beneath.
It isn’t that a damaged person really wants to be hurt, but they have grown used to it. It clouds the vision and they can no longer “see” those qualities of pure affection. Deep inside, they yearn for something better, different, healthy. But they bring that poor little hurting heart along for every ride they take and soon the trip just doesn’t seem worth it at all.
And so, human beings bring along their baggage into every future relationship. Some have cute little monogrammed tote bags and they cringe at the sight of someone struggling to load their steamer trunk into a new experience. But all baggage both large or small is problematic. Because we bring it with us, we are never free of the events that packed it in the first place. Sometimes we even like to sit and go through our suitcases full of issues and relive them. It hurts and feels good all at the same time, like picking at a scab. Unfortunately, once we are through examining the contents of our luggage, we carefully repack it. We never seem to find even one little item that we can leave behind. In fact, now that we’ve began the reloading, we often find we have more to put back than when we unpacked. And so, we bring ever increasing numbers of cases and boxes. Now we need a cart to load them on. Soon instead of us hauling them, they are dragging us down the road of life. Occasionally, they can stack themselves into huge roadblocks that keep us from going forward and we’re much to afraid to go back. After all, we know what happened before.
The things we bring can be changed but it isn’t easy. Imagine getting to your destination without your luggage. Everything familiar is in that suitcase. Some of it you don’t even really need; you brought it “just in case.” That suitcase is a part of you, in essence it IS you. Now what? What if that piece of baggage is lost forever. What if it winds up in a baggage room in Milwaukee, untagged and unclaimed.
After mourning the fact that it is indeed lost, cursing the careless handling by those in charge and wringing your hands about what to do, you decide. You get yourself to the nearest all purpose store and buy a new toothbrush, shampoo and a pair of serviceable undies. You hang your travel worn clothes on the shower rod and run a hot bath and steam the wrinkles out of your slacks and your spirit as well.
And tomorrow the sun rises like always and you are still part of life. That suitcase may be missing, but you are still here. And, because you’ve lost your luggage, there is a brand new aspect to your existence.
None of us will live and love and be unchanged. We each will hurt and be hurt. We will stand and fall and stand again. We will bring our experience with us and try to educate our children.
What I hope is that along the way, we can begin to cast aside our baggage. It isn’t in the failure of a relationship that we find the thorn. The thorn is in never trying again, never allowing ourselves to trust. The thorn is waiting in one of those suitcases to prick our finger and make us remember our pain.
So bring with you instead your injured heart with a bright shiny SpongeBob band-aid. Open your heart instead of your baggage. Make the thing you bring a willingness to try and try and try again and bring your love and allow it to seek its’ mirror.
Cherry Flop
I have been up since 3:00 a.m. I am not able to sleep. I let myself get waaaay too stressed yesterday and I will pay the price for it today.
I took my son to the airport yesterday. His flight was leaving at 7:00 p.m. We rolled out of my driveway headed to Tulsa at 5:00. Doesn't exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out what kind of trip we had. Since they like for you to be at the airport a minimum of 1 hour prior to boarding and it is a minimum of an hour and a half drive to Tulsa, it just doesn't compute. The highway between here and there is under continual construction and we went through a whole section of single lane highway, got into Tulsa and I made one wrong turn which worked out pretty easily. We came to a stop in front of the United ticketing counter at 6:50.
Son jumped out, grabbed his bag and hit the ground running. Of course they were holding his ticket so he had to show ID, etc. go through security and run for the plane. Sometime during all this, he lost his cell phone so he is now in Salt Lake City Utah without any way to keep in touch.
If someone could please explain to me why men procrastinate the way they do, I would certainly appreciate the insight.
I was literally so stressed by the time he boarded the plane that I almost got a hotel room and stayed the night in Tulsa. I decided I would go eat and give myself time to unwind a little before heading home and naturally, took the wrong exit and wound up headed for Missouri.
I have made probably 5 trips to Tulsa in my lifetime and have wound up lost 3 of them. I told darling son's girlfriend that when it is time for him to come home, she is going to have to figure out how she can get him from Tulsa to Fort Smith without me.
So it would appear that a long nap is in my future for today. Feel free to join me.
I took my son to the airport yesterday. His flight was leaving at 7:00 p.m. We rolled out of my driveway headed to Tulsa at 5:00. Doesn't exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out what kind of trip we had. Since they like for you to be at the airport a minimum of 1 hour prior to boarding and it is a minimum of an hour and a half drive to Tulsa, it just doesn't compute. The highway between here and there is under continual construction and we went through a whole section of single lane highway, got into Tulsa and I made one wrong turn which worked out pretty easily. We came to a stop in front of the United ticketing counter at 6:50.
Son jumped out, grabbed his bag and hit the ground running. Of course they were holding his ticket so he had to show ID, etc. go through security and run for the plane. Sometime during all this, he lost his cell phone so he is now in Salt Lake City Utah without any way to keep in touch.
If someone could please explain to me why men procrastinate the way they do, I would certainly appreciate the insight.
I was literally so stressed by the time he boarded the plane that I almost got a hotel room and stayed the night in Tulsa. I decided I would go eat and give myself time to unwind a little before heading home and naturally, took the wrong exit and wound up headed for Missouri.
I have made probably 5 trips to Tulsa in my lifetime and have wound up lost 3 of them. I told darling son's girlfriend that when it is time for him to come home, she is going to have to figure out how she can get him from Tulsa to Fort Smith without me.
So it would appear that a long nap is in my future for today. Feel free to join me.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Happy Birthday Darling Husband
Today was Roger's birthday. Unfortunately, I had to make a whirlwind trip to Tulsa and was unable to spend any time with him on his birthday. I think he had a pretty crappy day all around so I am going to spend the rest of the week trying to make up for a less than stellar birthday. He does so much for all of us and it seems like he always gets the short end of the stick.
I don't know if it is because it comes right after Thanksgiving and everyone has sort of let down after the turkey hype or what but I personally have the hardest time remembering and it just sneaks up on me every year. I have to do better, he deserves better.
Gotta go, am very tired and kind of depressed that I have made my sweetheart unhappy. No cherry on top for me, I'm a bad girl.
I don't know if it is because it comes right after Thanksgiving and everyone has sort of let down after the turkey hype or what but I personally have the hardest time remembering and it just sneaks up on me every year. I have to do better, he deserves better.
Gotta go, am very tired and kind of depressed that I have made my sweetheart unhappy. No cherry on top for me, I'm a bad girl.
Saving a Buck
Over the Thanksgiving holidays, I was disturbed to hear about people who were injured and even killed during the crazed event known as "Black Friday."
One has to wonder exactly what creates such a frenzy among what one hopes are usually sane people. Since most of us overspend at Christmas anyway, how much of a savings can precipitate the need to camp out in the cold and then stampede like cattle in a thunderstorm.
Is this the result of "herd" mentality? Have we reduced ourselves to little more than sheep blindly crowding into pens for slaughter? Or are we so completely numb to the "what ifs" of our behavior that we cease to think rationally?
I believe that had I have been in that crowd at Wal-Mart and knew that someone died I would have a difficult time ever getting over it.
However along with the crowds of senseless shoppers there are others to share the blame. First of all, if stores can "slash" their prices for holiday shopping, couldn't they have some decent discounts all along? And the media.....I hate to even get started on my soapbox there. The same people who make elections last for years by analyzing, critiquing and denegrating can work the public into a froth. Perhaps if we weren't told that prices were good for "1 DAY ONLY!" we might have more sense.
But ultimately, the responsibility lies with us. It is our job to behave like human beings, not savages. That same HDTV that we are so driven to obtain the day after Thanksgiving may very well be drastically discounted after Christmas as well. And frankly, given the state of our world, our country and our economy I would like to see people decide to work really hard to recapture the whole meaning of Christmas. Chances are none of those people who rushed the doors of Wal-mart were doing so to buy items for the poor, the sick or the homeless. They were rushing to purchase for people who more than likely, have too much, eat too much and appreciate too little. I still remember Christmas as a little girl when most of my gifts were much needed clothes. My best package came in the mail from my grandmother. The big boot box was filled with books, a box of chocolate covered cherries, a Lifesaver "book" and some item that grandma made with her own hands. As a child I had no use for a toilet paper roll cover constructed from a doll body with a crocheted skirt but she made it. And she made it just for me. At the time, it never crossed my mind that she had made dozens of them and everyone in the family got the same thing. All I cared about was the fact that she remembered me and cared enough to make something for me. I would give anything to be able to look forward to seeing that boot box arrive in the mail this Christmas.
As we all ratchet up for Christmas, I hope we can approach it with peaceful calm. De-stress the event as much as you can. Remember Jesus was born in a lowly stable with little comfort and He was a King. Without Him, there would be no Christmas.
One has to wonder exactly what creates such a frenzy among what one hopes are usually sane people. Since most of us overspend at Christmas anyway, how much of a savings can precipitate the need to camp out in the cold and then stampede like cattle in a thunderstorm.
Is this the result of "herd" mentality? Have we reduced ourselves to little more than sheep blindly crowding into pens for slaughter? Or are we so completely numb to the "what ifs" of our behavior that we cease to think rationally?
I believe that had I have been in that crowd at Wal-Mart and knew that someone died I would have a difficult time ever getting over it.
However along with the crowds of senseless shoppers there are others to share the blame. First of all, if stores can "slash" their prices for holiday shopping, couldn't they have some decent discounts all along? And the media.....I hate to even get started on my soapbox there. The same people who make elections last for years by analyzing, critiquing and denegrating can work the public into a froth. Perhaps if we weren't told that prices were good for "1 DAY ONLY!" we might have more sense.
But ultimately, the responsibility lies with us. It is our job to behave like human beings, not savages. That same HDTV that we are so driven to obtain the day after Thanksgiving may very well be drastically discounted after Christmas as well. And frankly, given the state of our world, our country and our economy I would like to see people decide to work really hard to recapture the whole meaning of Christmas. Chances are none of those people who rushed the doors of Wal-mart were doing so to buy items for the poor, the sick or the homeless. They were rushing to purchase for people who more than likely, have too much, eat too much and appreciate too little. I still remember Christmas as a little girl when most of my gifts were much needed clothes. My best package came in the mail from my grandmother. The big boot box was filled with books, a box of chocolate covered cherries, a Lifesaver "book" and some item that grandma made with her own hands. As a child I had no use for a toilet paper roll cover constructed from a doll body with a crocheted skirt but she made it. And she made it just for me. At the time, it never crossed my mind that she had made dozens of them and everyone in the family got the same thing. All I cared about was the fact that she remembered me and cared enough to make something for me. I would give anything to be able to look forward to seeing that boot box arrive in the mail this Christmas.
As we all ratchet up for Christmas, I hope we can approach it with peaceful calm. De-stress the event as much as you can. Remember Jesus was born in a lowly stable with little comfort and He was a King. Without Him, there would be no Christmas.
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