My mother, God bless her, could be the source of a best seller. I would think she had Altzheimers but for the fact that she hasn't been able to remember anything for longer than I can remember. And if you know me well, you know my memory is like an elephant, however, I'm not as forgiving as poor Horton was.
All through my life I have tried to take trips down memory lane with my mom. These are lessons in futility because she remembers nothing. Obviously, I was raised by wolves because none of my fond childhood memories strike a chord of remembrance in her.
Over the course of a lifetime with her, she has on numerous occasions sent me the same birthday card two years in a row. This would be okay if they were the generic sentiments in a box where you might have the same card in a box of 25. Nope, these are the high dollar Hallmark kind that she has most certainly taken great time and care to read in order to find the perfect one. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she remembers my birthday. I just wish she would not sign them and I could use them again....cards are expensive. The last card I received from her was signed Love, Juanita Marie Immel. Don't know if she was trying to reinforce who she was for me or for herself.
At Christmas time, I called Mom and told her Roger was wondering when he would get his annual package of Christmas fudge. She decided that she could make fudge and send him some since she was wanting some herself. She called me on the day she mailed the package and told me "That fudge isn't any good, they've done something to the sugar, it won't dissolve. I made 3 batches and threw 2 of them away because they are so sugary." I assured her that it would be fine, Roger would eat sugar with a spoon if allowed.
We anxiously awaited the arrival of fudge and when it arrived I tore into the package immediately. Inside the box was an aluminum pan full of............fudge? I have to tell you, it looked like a reindeer had "crapped" in the pan in big blobs. It was pretty unappetizing to look at, but once again Roger isn't too discerning when it comes to sweets. Also in the box were 2 Lifesaver "books" (you know the kind that have 10 rolls of Lifesavers stacked inside what looks like a little book. However these had gummy Lifesavers and there weren't enough for all the grandchildren so I ate them! There was a smallish parcel wrapped in tissue paper bearing my name which I put under the Christmas tree to unwrap on present day. There was also a box of blueberry muffin mix?
I called her to let her know that the package arrived and to thank her and in the course of the conversation, we had the following exchange.
Me: No, I'm saving that to unwrap on Christams day.
Mom: I know you will like it, they are really popular right now. (Insert excitement on my part thinking she got me an IPOD)
Mom: Was the fudge awful?
Me: No, Mom, it's fine and thanks for the Lifesaver books. You sent those because Grandma Sawyer always sent me those in my Christmas box didn't you?
Mom: She did?
Me: Yep, every year along with books to read she would send those. I guess you sent the muffin mix so I could make Christmas breakfast?
Mom: (Silence)
Me: Mom?
Mom: (More Silence)
Me: Mom....are you still there? I was asking about the muffin mix.
Mom: What muffin mix?
Me: The blueberry muffin mix you sent in the package.
Mom: I did?
Me: Yes, mom you did.
Mom: I wondered what happened to that.
At this point I will leave you to ponder what was in the package for me and what was wrong with the fudge. Do not fear Chapter 2 will be forthcoming.
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