DWTS - "The Boys Are Back In Town"

Roger is soooooo excited that Dancing With The Stars has started again. I'm pretty sure I heard him in the garage beating his thumb with a hammer in excitement. I celebrated the exciting event by piling up on the couch and refusing to move except for commercials. I have blogged previously about the uninspiring cast and tonight did little to make me change my mind.
Only the guy "stars" danced tonight. Tomorrow the celebragirls will dance and Wed will be the kick them to the curb episode for the week.
Since I know you all care deeply how I feel about such things, here are my observations from tonight.
Aaron Carter (Boy Band Member Brother) - actually was pretty good I think he shows some potential. Besides if he doesn't do well, his partner Karina will slap the crap out of him. She wants to win and if he can't do it for her someone may find him beaten to death by a pair of stilettos.
Chuck Liddell (UFC Fighter) - I felt the need to avert my eyes during this performance. It was painful to watch and obviously painful to do given the grimace he had on his face the whole time. He is one of those guys who has a "look" that is kind of intimidating. Obviously when his partner had him in close enough range she would whisper "Smile!" and then he did - at least I think it was a smile - it was a little scary.
Mark Dacascos (Iron Chef) - Could be a sleeper he has martial arts training so it is not such a big leap to the dance floor. All three official judges as well as yours truly scored him a solid 7. 'nuff said.
Ashley (Beige Boy) Hamilton - lacks his father's charisma. The Tan Man pulled off more weeks than he should have simply on the strength of his ability to connect with the audience. I have to say that given the fact that Ashley was told he might never walk again after a bad motorcycle accident, his appearance on the dance floor is nothing short of miraculous.
Donny Osmond (I'm sure I don't need to quantify his fame). Am I like the only human on the earth who IS NOT a fan of Donny and Marie? That being said he totally blew away the other guys tonight. Of course I have no doubt he has been paying for ballroom dancing lessons ever since Marie had her shot at the Mirror Ball. HE WANTS IT! And part of the reason he wants it is that she didn't get it.
Louis Vito (Snowboarder) - this kid is an amazing athlete and I'm betting that his partner Chelsie can pull some moves out of him. Maybe not on the dance floor but she'll get them. And besides every season has to have one of those Ken and Barbie ADORABLE couples and these 2 seem to have that slot all sewn up.
Michael Irvin (Dallas Cowboy Football Player) Along with the adorable couple have to have there is the "guy that everyone loves" and Michael is it. He is hard not to like and his moves aren't that bad so he could actually last a while given the shot. The judges were pretty harsh on him tonight. Much harder than they were on anyone else. Probably to try to balance out the mass appeal he's going to have. Football players traditionally do well.
And last but not least......
Tom DeLay (Former House Majority Leader) I didn't want to, was prepared not to, told myself not to even think it, but I did. I kind of liked him in this situation. He isn't great but he's an adequate dancer and dang it for some stiff and stodgy middle aged politician to hit the dance floor and shake his groove thang to "Wild Thing" was impressive.
New this year were relay dances which took 4 couples who danced against each other. The big winners tonight were Donny Osmond and Aaron Carter. Tomorrow we get to watch "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" with the female celebrities putting it all out there on the dance floor. And in the words of my darling daughter "I'm skeered." One of those chicks looks like she could bench press a Buick and then grind up and eat the remains. I will not say who but you are cordially invited to join my addiction and watch for yourself.