For lack of anything to blog about and my serious absence of friends, etc. to share my blog with, I've decided to post some of my previous writings here.
Call me quirky, whimsical or just down right deranged, but sometimes life just delivers those hysterical knee jerk moments. What bugs the crap out of me is I'm usually driving and can't write.
If ever there was someone who would benefit from a little tape recorder, it would sure be me.
Like today for instance. Driving home for lunch, taking the same route I always take and at blinding speed (ask my daughter) something happened to cause me to have to change my unmentionables.
The road home is a fairly straight shot until it forks and one has to choose either go left or go right (kind of like the political climate today.) Depending on traffic flow, either road works equally well for me, but today was a "go left, girl" kind of day.
Just as I turned on my left blinder, I glanced at the little shop in the fork in the road. The shop intrigues me since it has transformed itself from a dry cleaners into a little "antique" shop. Normally, I am a brand spanking new kind of chick unless the "collectible" has significant familial sentiment. But since I am always either A: going to work, or B: headed home from work and the shops tiny parking lot is difficult to negotiate....I've never stopped.
However, I think tomorrow may be the day. You see, they have put out a welcome sign even I cannot resist. Hanging on a common wire hanger, dancing merrily in the breeze, is the largest pair of women's drawers I have ever seen! I'm telling you there is enough nylon in those puppies to safely land a company of paratroopers. They are delightfully embellished with dainty lace trim and are so blindingly white I think my retinas are irreparably damaged.
I have to know. Are these gigantic underpants for sale? Are they antiques..(shiver!) Exactly what do those panties represent? Has Omar the tent maker taken up residence in Arkansas and is now sewing for the "hefty" set? Sidenote: Exactly what is the politically correct terminology for overweight these day? I need to know because I certainly qualify, but(t) even in my chubby eyes those lacy nylons seem gi-normous!
So, I'm dropping in tomorrow to learn the "skinny" (tongue in cheek.) I want to know the story behind (get it...behind?) the super sized underpants. Who knows, by tomorrow the matching bra may make an appearance.
2 comments:
The panty story always cracks me up. What do you think ever happened to them? Since you are missing your dog, you can borrow Amber whenever you want. She loves to see her mee-maw!
And Meemaw loves her Amber-pants. Today, I opened the curtains on the back door and she stretched out in the sunshine the whole time I was there. I'll bet it feels good her hips and knees.
As for the underpants.....I guess whenever the antique store reincarnated into a Latino church, they had to seek other quarters....hind quarters that is.
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