3 Little Cherries Sittin' All Alone

Well, I have officially slipped into senility. It is all over. I worry sometimes about my lapse of good sense.
Everyone knows about my 2 socially retarded, crazed, running the yard like jungle monkeys rescue dogs. And further, everyone knows that Veronica could jump a 6 foot privacy fence in a single bound. The stories and images of fat old me scaling yard fences to retrieve my errant canine are legend and humorous beyond belief.
Veronica consumed me. I worried every second she wasn't tied or penned. When she was tied, I worried she would get tangled up and not be able to reach water or shelter. When she was penned I worried that she would feel isolated. In short......I worried every second of every day. And about once a week, she would manage to escape leading me on a recovery mission that involved climbing, running, walking, whistling and calling only to have her run from me like I was her worst nightmare. Then, when I would give up and decide that I would leave her to the cruel mercies of a big heartless world, turn my back on her and head for home dragging a leash behind me, she would plow into the back of me like I was her redeemer and salvation.
Last week, I had a repairman here working on my stove. He saw Veronica sitting atop her dog house gazing in the window and commented on what a pretty dog she was. I explained that she was one of my rescue projects that never got fulfilled. He talked about how he was looking for a dog to patrol his vast acreage in Oklahoma. I told this guy she wasn't the brightest bulb on the christmas tree and after some discussion it was determined that he would like to try to give her a home of her own where she would be the one and only dog. Someone's baby. My prayers were answered.
He came by the following evening and after some interesting introductions, loaded her in his truck and headed off with her. I believe this was Wednesday. By Friday he had called and said she had slipped the chain and "rund oft."
Saturday he called and said he had seen her but when he approached her she bolted and fled.
Sunday Roger and I loaded Jessie, Max and Betty (Veronica's equally crazy sister) and headed for Howe, Oklahoma. We spent 2 and 1/2 hours walking around 35 acres calling and trying to lure her back into our possession. All to no avail. No Veronica.
Now, I have spent hours crying over the fact that I should never have allowed this to happen. She was lost when I found her and after more than 2 years, tons of dog food and biscuits, hundreds of dollars of vet bills, she's lost again.
Why did I do this? I would like to say that I was only thinking of her and how much I wanted her to have a place of her own where she wouldn't be the lowest dog on the totem poll. How none of this would have happened if she hadn't been such a strange little duck. But the fact of the matter is, I did it for me. I wanted some peace. I wanted to not have to have my every waking moment consumed with the welfare of that little black and tan dog. How selfish am I? Now I will worry about her for the rest of my life. I feel like a total heel and I have nightmares thinking about her alone in the big world. If she were a different type of animal I would feel better. If she were one of those natural survivors that would run up in someone's yard, roll over and expose her tender parts and communicate what a sweet dog she was and how all she wanted was someone to love her. One of those dogs that a child would say, "Look, mom, she followed me home, can I keep her?" But no. Veronica is one of those dogs that will avoid human contact at all costs and in fact will probably project such a strange personality that someone will think she isn't all there in the head and decide to dispatch her to greener pastures.
I am just sick over this. I feel like the worst pet owner ever. After taking her in and refusing to allow anything bad to happen to her, I have put her in mortal peril. And my other 3 dogs know that there is a puzzle piece missing, even if it is the one that doesn't quite fit right. They miss her. Her sister has no one to rough house, play hide and seek and king of the hill with. Someone should take me to the country and turn me loose. If you see my dog, please call me.