The Circle of Life

Well, it finally happened! My life has made an interesting circuit. I have gone from aspiring Broadway musical theatre actress, to wife, to mother, to owner of my own business, to divorced, to divorced again to wife to step-mother (tired yet?) to employee of 17 years to unemployed, to re-employed to unemployed to cleaning my daughter's house! Let's analyze what I'm doing wrong.
The Broadway thing was a pie in the sky kind of dream, my voice wasn't that great and Broadway is a hell of long way from the Texas panhandle.
First marriage was to a slow talking cowboy a decade older than me in years and a century older in attitude. He gave me 2 children I adore and for that I will always be grateful. Of course he also left me with them to finish out, I am grateful for that as well.
First divorce....can you spell living hell. Tortuous, embarrassing and life threatening.
The business I owned was part of this marriage and we had such a fantastic opportunity to do really great things, but one of us (not me) got way too big for our britches and shot the wad to kingdom come.
Second marriage. What on earth was I thinking? Was I thinking? I think not. Wow, I was on a merry-go-round with the throttle stuck in high. By the time it slung me off the ride, I was dizzy and confused, older....broker......lacking in self esteem and just plain tired. That divorce was one of life's little blessings that I count (sometimes twice) whenever I'm looking for validation.
My kids and I had a pretty rough go of life for a very long time but I'm a survivor and we managed to muddle through. I know they carry the scars of past life just as I do and for that I may never forgive myself, but I always tried to do the right thing. Sometimes I did the right thing for all the wrong reasons.
Wait here.....I have to go get a bigger bowl to put these cherries in.
I was handed a blessing in my third husband. How does any woman deserve this man? He came with baggage but we have managed to unpack a lot of our trunks and invest in matching luggage.
Being a step mother to his kids has been the best and worst thing I have ever done all at the same time. I have learned many of life's little lessons trying to wrestle out my place in their lives. I know they have frequently not understood me or my motives. Perhaps someday they will be walking the road I have and will come to understand me just a little. The have enriched my life with grandchildren that I love just as I love the little curtain climbers that are part of my gene pool. Kids are great, too bad we often force them to be screwed up by inflicting our ideas and opinions on them.
And my career. Ah yes that has been fun. I worked for the same employer for 17 years and would still be there but they sold their business. What a lesson that was. After 17 years of treating their business as if it were my own, there was nothing at the end of the road...not even a thank you for all you've done. Wow....talk about the whole wetting your pants in a dark suit feeling. Yikes!
Being a Type A personality with not just a little OCD and AR thrown in for good measure, I rushed out and found another job right away.
(Insert Carnival Music here)
On any given day, there was a current wife, an ex-wife and at least 2 girlfriends on site. If Days of Our Lives would move their filming there, they could re-emerge as Emmy contenders in a few months. Given the drama my life has already unfolded, I just couldn't take any more.
Therefore, I now have a job cleaning my very successful daughter's house.
I'm closing for now....I have to clean up all the cherry stems and pits around my feet.