Sunday, January 24, 2010

Those Are the Biggest Uggs I've Ever Seen

There are interesting folk at hospitals. Only the Bus Station and Wal-Mart at Midnight can rival a busy hospital for sheer people watching pleasure. Since I have been semi-residing at a local hospital long enough for most other visitors to think I work there I have seen some sights.
Perhaps one of the best things I've seen to date was the guy(?) who was easily 7 feet tall with a full head of curly luxuriant blond hair schlepping up and down the hall. This person was so large that the two hospital johnnys he was wearing (one front and one back) were seriously tasked to cover all his(?) magnificence. Now you've noticed the question marks I'm sure. Those are there because I am not entirely positive that I had this fellow's(?) gender correctly identified.
I was pretty sure it was a guy until I got down to the feet. Honestly, those UGG boots could have been used in Hurricane Katrina to float a family of 5 to safety. I guess I'm pretty fashion challenged because somehow I had the idea those boots were girl's boots. They look like girl's boots to me but then what would I know? Maybe they are gender neutral like Birkenstock sandals.
When first spotted the UGG wearer was pushing an IV pole up and down the hall. Soon there was no need for constant saline drip and the walker walked alone. But I became further confused on the day of discharge. There was my mystery man(?) obviously ready to depart from organized health care. The attire was not appropriate for cooler weather, however. In addition to the UGGs, the dischargee was wearing a pair of exceedingly short navy blue shorts and a navy sleeveless vest which was "thrillingly" open to the navel. For safety's sake I am going to go ahead and commit to the male identity of Mr. Large since I saw no readily identifiable features to indicate otherwise. I will say this was one of the largest people I have ever seen and those were the biggest damn boots ever manufactured. And UGG I say and UGG again.

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