Good Days or No Days

When my son was a little fellow, he was plagued by nightmares of such hellish proportions that he would run shrieking through the house. Sometimes he spoke a language all his own which would freak me completely out. Eyes wide open and staring, talking gibberish and running in a modified stationary panic he was all at once, terrifying and pitiful. He learned when he was small to pray at night "Dear God give me good dreams or no dreams."
Lately I've found myself praying a similar prayer. "Give me good days or no days." And I really don't mean that I would rather not have a day unless it is good, that little slogan just popped into my head - like an almost forgotten memory.
When mom is having a good day, all things seem possible. When the day "sucks like a Hoover" I begin to doubt myself and question everything I am trying to do. I do feel she is improving substantially in some ways. I know that her care is better administered by someone who cares about her than in a clinical setting. Sometimes she is a difficult person to deal with and if you don't have an affection for her, your impulse would be to just leave her be. Her diet and eating habits have improved immensely. Her attitude is almost unfailingly good, however, she does have at least one little "pity party" every day and honestly I think this is understandable. Her inability to jump up and take off doing things disheartens her to a point that breaks my heart. If she tries to do anything quickly she has what are the equivalent of mini-seizures. Her legs begin to jerk and she heads for the floor. What is really odd to me is that once this has happened she is almost euphoric. It doesn't upset her. Instead she laughs and cracks wise in stark contrast to the tearful beginnings to our days when she is sure she is never going to get any better. She can usually be "jollied" out of those feelings and I do reassure her that really none of us feel great first rattle out of the box. I know that the weather which is keeping up confined to indoors plays a large role in both her mood and mine. I don't get out much any more and while I love to be able to stay home - enforced confinement doesn't suit my temperament well.
So, I guess I will change my little prayer and just ask God to "Give me more good days than bad days." I'll see if that works.