An Oldie But Still A Goodie!

I found this today while looking for a completely unrelated document on my computer. While it is an oldie, some points still remain valid. My apologies for the one bad word - I tried to think of a different one, but nothing carried quite as much impact. Sorry.

I've decided to analyze my own dreams. I will either learn that I am borderline crazy as a room full monkeys, or well on my way to self discovery.
My dreams have always been the product of an over active imagination. But lately, depending on the level of sleep aids I've ingested have been downright bizarre. I know that my present life condition is contributing to my technicolor, Monty Pythonesque sleep periods. I also know that my inability to deal with said life condition doesn't particularly help form a relaxing restful slumber. But hey, this is me and I've always had this personality and chances are at this advanced stage in my development, things aren't likely to change. Therefore, following is my latest pillow carnival. My analysis of the different points will be set apart by asterisks.

Anyone who knows me well knows that lately I have had trouble sleeping (as evidenced by the fact I am blogging at 11:45 at night!) Watching TV you see the lovely peaceful commercials for Ambien or my personal favorite the gentle floating butterfly effect of Lunestra. What they don't tell you in these commercials is that you need to know some personal kind of dirt on your doctor before he will take pity on you and give you these. Also, the try free for a week, etc. is a further misleading statement. What they will do is send you a coupon for the product but you still have to get your doctor's permission to try it. As far as I'm concerned they are all the supreme leaders of the different levels of hell. There isn't a doctor alive who thinks that it isn't perfectly okay for me to spend practically 2 years of my life with hardly any sleep. I have desperately sought some sort of relief....no caffeine after 5:00 in the evening. Nice warm baths with candles and wine. Reading, meditating, counting sheep, counting dogs, counting money....you name it I tried it. I have on occasion considered suffocating myself (just kidding!) Actually, I'm not kidding. Given my inability to sleep and my husband's constant coughing the chances of someone getting a mouthful of feathers increases every night.

So...I decided that I would give Tylenol PM a shot. Holy Cow! Where has this stuff been all my life? As a former debilitating migraine sufferer, I have practically rendered myself impervious to medication but this stuff is "THE BOMB." Literally, light's out...... in fact, I usually feel quite lucky(?) to wake up the next morning.

I can take it, turn on the TV and the next thing I know it's morning, my mouth is dry as the desert (which probably means I've snored like a logger all night long.) I've thought about trying to do something about this problem too but given the aforementioned hubalump coughing I feel it is my only defense.
But, just as no good deed goes unpunished...neither does any good remedy.

The dreams are WILD and so vivid that I literally can remember them in perfect detail the next day. I've shared a few of these flights of fancy with a few of my family and friends who I'm pretty sure now have Harbor View on speed dial just in case. Note to family: Harbor View no longer frightens me, I totally rock group therapy.
But the one I had the other night was quite possibly the most interesting one I've ever had. Brace yourselves readers this is going to take some time.
It all began with the little Edwards girls who for some reason were in need of me dressing them for school. In putting their socks on I realized their socks were purple. ***Analysis: Direct reference to my inability to fix anything that is wrong, broken or otherwise being a pain in the butt***
Being the snappy dresser I am I knew they couldn't wear purple socks with their school uniforms so I was very concerned. At this point, their mother appeared and reassured me that all I had to do was turn them inside out. So I did and sure enough they weren't purple on the other side. However, they were brown. ***Analysis: See previous paragraph***
So...I decide to buy them more socks. ***Analysis: Can you spell control freak***
Apparently the only store in dreamland was an outdoor outfitters store. Yep, log cabin decor, trophy animals the whole nine yards. ***Analysis: Has to stem from the fact that for a solid week I dealt with the cable company telling me they were not the ones to fix my internet problem. The phone company telling me they were not the ones to fix my phone problem. And the computer repair store telling me they were not the ones to fix my computer problem***
At this point Genevieve and Audrey are no longer involved in this dream and thank heaven for that. ***Analysis: God is mighty and merciful and spared my granddaughters from having to participate further in my madness***
Working in the store is an extremely well built young man wearing spandex biker shorts. Watch it...I know what you are thinking..but I hate spandex biker shorts with a passion. Now, here's the really interesting part. His spandex shorts are completely transparent in the posterior area. ***Analysis: This has to be a direct result of the fact that I think that some men (not all) are basically asses, either by showing them or acting like them***
Yikes! I was just wrapping my mind around his unseemly attire when a stagecoach, cowboys, Indians, trick riders on horses and a zoo wagon starting circling around inside the building. ***Analysis: My life is just one bearded fat lady away from being a complete circus. Sidenote: Perhaps I should have said dog faced boy since my body style can handle the fat lady part and my hormones (or lack of) is accomplishing the rest.)***
I hope you are laughing at this point because I am splitting my pjs myself right now. Mercifully the dream ended somewhere during the circus acts but when I woke up boy was I confused! So I guess the Tylenol PM is going to have a short lived run.....darn it. Although, I could just continue to take it and continue to regale my loyal followers with my dreams. I have to run now, I think I hear the little men with the white coats knocking on the door. :)