Excuse Me Ma'am - Your Slip Is Showing

Oh wait.....No, it isn't. That's because you aren't wearing a slip. And I ask you dear madam, Why aren't you wearing a slip? What's that you say? Wal-Mart no longer carries slips? Why that simply is impossible. Do they not consider themselves the EVERYTHING place. My goodness, you can get your oil changed, your eyes checked, your nails buffed AND your picture made while waiting on the Photo department to process your film or digital imagery. Then you can leisurely stroll over to the grocery aisle while your dear husband checks out the .22 rifles in the sporting goods department. After that you might want to make a trip down the meaningless gesture aisle because surely someone has a birthday, anniversary, bar mitzvah and is dying for one of those Hot Sauce combo packs. Therefore, you must be mistaken. What's that you say? "The "associate" in the lingerie/sock department said that Wal-Mart hasn't carried slips in about 3 years!"
My stars and garters! Literally!
This morning for the 3rd time in maybe that many years, I opted to wear a dress to church. I usually go for the 2 piece suit type look as my body has not retained a shape conducive to attractive wearing of a dress. This particular dress really needed a slip under it. I realize that because over the course of the past decade I have been the self appointed "underwear" police in my area. Working for a photography studio - I saw it all. I saw girls who wore panties that should have rethought their choice. Here's a little hint gals.....thongs don't always look good under an iridescent while clingy dress - especially when said thong is royal blue. I have seen girls who opted to not wear a bra - AND SHOULD HAVE. I've seen girls who wore a bra - nice white straps with block and tackle buckles under a strapless gown. And I've seen grown women walk into a business in a nice light chiffony little summer dress. With the light shining behind them, I became far more familiar with them than I cared to.
So, I'm a little anal when it comes to proper undergarmenting (spell check says that is not a word it recognizes) TOO BAD - I recognize it.
On the way to church we stopped at the closest Wal-Mart - I ran in while the hubs circled the parking lot like an anxious lover waiting to pick up his date on a Saturday night. Carefully, I perused the foundation department. Panties - check, pantyhose - check, bras - check, check and triple check, press it down and move it up garments - check. But no slips. No full slips, no half slips. Nothing, nada, zero, zip. Running out of time I found an "associate" and inquired where I might lay my hands on a slip and was informed that indeed they no longer carry slips.
Now I was in a pickle. It was too late to return home and change, nothing else was open and I wasn't even wearing my long coat.
So, today, I went to church with no slip and was paranoid the entire day that someone else would know I had no slip. I guess I will have to do some research into why the slip has "slipped" away into oblivion. But, listen girls, if you have slips, hang on to them - they will be collector's items someday. Perhaps I will see one of you on the Antiques Roadshow being offered a million bucks for your underwear.