Wake Up Little Susie

 

I guess you can tell how tired you are by how late you sleep.  I woke up today at 4:00 pm.  Now, I had been awake a couple of times but never fully awake enough to drag myself out of bed.

When I finally decided that I really needed to get up and do something productive with the day, the day was almost over.  I should have felt guilty, but I didn’t.  I did feel extremely grateful that I was able to rest.  It has been a while since I’ve been able to.

One thing I have learned is that when the body, the mind and the spirit become so overwhelmed and exhausted – they will shut down and take you with them.

So……today I rested.  Tomorrow, I will arise to fight anew.

Ya – AB - ba – Dabba – Do

 

I am thinking I need to start carrying a film crew around with me. Oh, I could always stash my trusty Canon in the car, but I’m never quite sure how to approach people and say – “ ‘scuse me - but could I take your picture?” Then, they would want to know why and I would be forced to explain that I need photographic evidence of what I’m seeing.

Practically every day I see people that make me wonder why I worry so much about what I look like in public. There are the people in their jammies in Wal-Mart. Girls who routinely give us a peek through their rear view mirror and share their backsides in low rider pants. Guys who walk around in danger of LOSING their pants but amuse us with their creative choices in boxers and the firm grip they have in the central area of their pants to keep them from falling around their shoes.

And me? I might change clothes 3 times before I leave the house because I am so aware that if I think I look inappropriate, chances are others will too. And while I love to be laughed at, I would prefer it to be for my superior wit and humor, not my exposure of private areas or clothing that just isn’t right for my body type. I live in cold sweating fear of one day seeing my own picture in the “People of Wal-Mart” photos that go viral every few months.

Today as I was driving, I saw a guy standing on the side of the road. The fellow had his dog on a leash and the man was attired in jeans, tennis shoes and nothing else. No shirt at all and let me tell you, he was sporting a pretty impressive “6 pack.” Really. The “Situation” had nothing on this man, the guy had abs for days. But……………and you knew there’d be a but, didn’t you?........When I got closer, he had to be at least 65 and maybe older.

Now, I am really impressed with this guy’s dedication to keep fit – I think that is an admirable thing. But, I wondered, is he trying to impress someone in particular by walking shirtless with his dog? I’m pretty sure that anyone of the opposite gender who is going to see and be smitten will be someone he would not be interested in.

It has been my experience that those really nice looking and fit fellows in the senior citizen category aren’t looking for a nice senior counterpart. They are probably setting their sights somewhere in the 25 to 30 year age group and those gals will most likely run for the hills unless said fellow has gold lined pockets with diamond be-dazzler accents. Just sayin’.

Stick a Danged Stamp on it!

 

Timing……it is all about timing.  Comedians have to have it or they are simply NOT funny.  It’s always good to know the proper moment to speak – or shut up.  Being in the right place at the right time is a good thing. Being in the wrong place at either the right or wrong time is almost always bad.

There is one woman in my life who could drive me to drink…….more.  If I had a last nerve she would be able to find it and bang on it till it bled.  Her personality and  mine are the equivalent of gasoline and matches and as long as I want to continue selling something I sell I have to deal with her.

Recently, she kind of gave me a good hosing on something and I called her on it.  Of course, delightfully, she was blissfully unaware that it might upset someone to pay $5.00 shipping for something that cost $5.00.  Anyway, today I went to the post office to buy a stamp to mail her check.  I had just received my change back for buying a .44 stamp with a dollar bill when she came sashaying through the post office door.

She didn’t see me…….she never sees me unless it is to her advantage to do so and I was left to ponder the incredible amount of karma I had just experienced.  I was already upset over the bill I had to pay and had I have been 5 seconds slower I could have just handed her the danged check.  But then I realized……the check was indeed in the mail and it wasn’t just a meaningless cliche and more importantly, I didn’t have to engage her in conversation so maybe it was my lucky day after all.

Are You My Sister?….and brother?

 

These are my wonderful friends Sam and Judy.  Everyone should have friends like them.  Where in the helicopter would I be if I did not have these two people in my life?  Now, I’m going to cry.

Judy and I met not long after I moved to Arkansas – we had both been “tricked” into being PTA officers.  Then I allowed Judy to trick me into Cub Scouts, Sorority, Tons of Fun Day at 4 H, Christmas Parades and the list goes on and on.  Over the course of more years than either of us wants to count we have shared more laughter, problems, adventures, and tears than anyone else I’ve been acquainted with.  I think that for each other we are the closest thing to sisters either of us have ever had.  Judy was an only child and I have a sister but we did not grow up together and therefore don’t share that familial bond.

Sam was at one time – in the immortal words of Chloris Leachman in Young Frankenstein - “yes, he vas my boyfriend!”  Little did I know that God had chosen Sam to be my forever friend that I was to save for my best girl Judy.

I introduced Sam and Judy on a blind date at Chilis and as they say – the rest is history.  They got married, combined their families and scooped me up and carried me with them into the role of a “sister” to both of them.

Without them, I would be a pretty lost little sheep sometimes.  They will never know how much I love and treasure them.  I wish I could tell them, but I always cry and that makes them both uncomfortable.

So, since I can’t tell them, I will tell you.  Outside of my husband,children and grandchildren, these are the two most important people in my world.  I know why and so do they.  They would never tell you and I can’t because the genuine Christ like behavior they show – not just to me – but everyone who knows them – humbles me and makes me want to be a better person.  If there truly are mansions in Heaven – theirs is going to have a pool, tennis courts, and rose gardens.  And I’m gonna be their housekeeper.

Sam and Judy,  please meet everyone.  Everyone, please meet Sam and Judy………………..aren’t they cute?  I took that picture and it makes me happy to look at it.  I love you guys more than I can ever say.  And…….frenzy, frenzy, frenzy (only Judy knows what this means – and she’s laughing right now.)

Sub-terranean Surprises

 

Subbing for school systems - both rewarding and frustrating. Rewarding in getting a paycheck and feeling like you are helping someone else have some time to do something important to them. Rewarding in seeing cute little shining faces ready to greet a brand new day – (obviously, I’ve been subbing in elementary schools.) Something tells me the junior high and high school kids don’t go tearing into school with the same excitement.

But, there are a certain number of frustrations as well. Like today for instance when I showed up at a school I had been asked to repeat sub at – only to find there were 2 of us booked for the same position. A secretary (who was the one who asked me to come back) was looking at me and demanding to know who asked me to be there. It took everything I had to not ask her “how would I have known to come back if you hadn’t asked me?”

Strangely enough, as bored as I am at times I’m not in the habit of stalking school personnel to see who does and doesn’t show up.

So……I was sent to another school for ½ a day. Gas…..almost four bucks a gallon. Trips to two schools for two and a half hours of work……..priceless.

What the helicopter are they thinking?

 

As if kids don’t have enough crap to be terrified of, television advertisers are now advocating scaring them silly.

The commercial where the two parents tell their children a horrific story to keep them from getting into the adult’s candy really gets my goat.

Perhaps, we could just tell them no……instead of scaring them into leaving alone something that is probably better suited for them anyway.

Maybe it is because I, myself, was terrified of the dark until I was well into my 40s makes me feel that purposely scaring your kids is criminal.  I never told my kids there was a boogeyman in a dark room (even though I secretly feared there was.) 

One never knows  when it will be necessary to send your child into a darkened room to get something that is vitally needed.  How horrible it would be if they were simply too afraid to go in because of something you said.