AcroNYMPHS

Admittedly, I have some problems understanding some of our abbreviated vernacular.  The whole texting thing has me defeated – one, I can’t stand spelling errors – two, thumbs are for space bars, not regular letters and when cursed with trigger thumb you have a whole different set of challenges – three, my fingers embrace standard keyboards with affection – phone buttons, not so much and four, if you have to text the person sitting across from you in the restaurant, perhaps you shouldn’t be there together in the first place.

I’ve always known that TNT meant something is blowing up.  That ADHD is a real pain in the kiester for kids and their parents.  That IBS is NEVER a good thing and STHU meant I’d better go in the closet and tell my problems to my shoes.  I know that I, myself, possess a certain measure of OCD and AR behavior.  Somehow, saying I am AR is much less embarrassing than admitting to simply being anal retentive. 

But now, I find, there are all kinds of shortened abilities and disabilities out there and half the time I’m afraid to use anything but full words for fear I will say something unforgiveable and let’s face it – from me, most probably offensive.

So…in my never ending search for knowledge and enlightenment…on a whim I Googled  “acronym for SOS”.  Now, I knew it stood for MAYDAY – which is code for “Holy Crap – we are in a boatload of trouble – save us soon”  which begs the question – why isn’t is SUS?  But, I digress (and you KNEW I would – now didn’t you?)  I was amazed to see a whole page of things that SOS can also stand for – some of my stand outs were:

          SINK OR SWIM (submitted by cruel swim instructors no doubt)

or………SHOOT ON SIGHT – (have these feelings regularly)

but my absolute fave was…………….STUCK. ON. STUPID – lovin’ this one!

I spent probably 3 years never understanding what the def between 2 tennis players names on the sports recap stood for.  I thought it was French.  Sorry – now you see why STUCK. ON. STUPID appeals to me.

I have to wonder though if maybe all these abbreviations and acronyms are simply our way of trying to not offend anyone.  Afterall, if I knew that F.A.T really stood for Fabulous and Talented – I would be thrilled.  Certainly being told that I was an OABUW would seem wickedly exotic as opposed to just being an old and butt ugly woman who was F.A.T in the bargain.

So…..in closing I would like to say – OMG I hope some part of this had you ROTFLYBO and that you will say TY at some point for always remembering to BRB to make you smile.