WHY?!

Why are boots so darned popular? Now? Of all times, now? When neither my body style nor my feet are boot friendly.

Boots...........particularly red boots. I love them with a passion reserved for all things chocolate and microwave popcorn. I've had red boots in the past, lots of them. I was very vain about my red boots. I've had red knee high boots, red Roper boots, red boots with fringe that matched my red suede fringed jacket. I'm pretty sure all these items were associated with a time in my life when I was HOT, or THOUGHT I was HOT.

Now, boots have turned on me - made for those of skinny calves, sturdy feet and butts that aren't 2 ax handles wide. I still have a couple of pairs of boots, nice sensible black ones with zippers. And each time I approach said boots, I say a little prayer that I will be able to zip those puppies up over my fat little legs without catching my skin inside the zipper.

Inventor friends, any ideas in the works for Expando-boots?