So....today I had a conversation with someone at work. Conversations with this person occasionally take strange and rocky side trips because their sense of humor rivals mine in sick and twisted. This "talk" went south in a big hurry. We started out talking about what good bargains Dillards has to offer when they decide to have a "sale."
Which led me to Darling Daughter Avenue where my sweet girl always gets such good prices on things, partially because she is teeny tiny and has been known to actually shop in the kids department. It is always a good day for shopping in her neck of the woods.
But eventually we made a wrong turn and found ourselves on the corner of Overweight and Slighty Dotty. The clothing stores in this not so attractive part of town tend to have the misconception that older, slightly “chubbed up” grandmotherly types have lost all sense of fashion.
Hello........we may have lost our ability to say no to Snickers but we still have eyes with which to see that with which you wish to adorn us. Yes, I'm speaking to you designers for Catherines, Lane Bryant and the rest of your ilk. And we will just not even mention those “discount” retailers who are the worst offeners IMHO.
Can you please explain to me why all tops in my size must be covered in flowers the size of dinner plates and in colors that make your retinas cry for mercy? Is there one good reason why you think I need to dress myself in my great grandmother's bedroom curtains?
Really people, we do still have a need for nice solid colored tops. Or are you deluded enough to think you are doing us a favor by making them wearable with any color stretch pants we own? PLEASE.STOP.
And while I'm on this subject, I have not reverted back to my childhood and I do not find myself in need of emblazoning Tinker Bell, Winnie the Pooh or Tigger on my casual wear or undergarments. Something tells me all three of those characters make a lot more money than I do and have no need for me to advertise for them.
Even pajamas for larger women have to have something "cutesy" on them. Really? Do you think you are tricking us into thinking we are tiny fluttering little bits of gossamer wings? The only requirements I have for PJs are nice soft and seasonally appropriate material, a good heavy duty drawstring and the ability to withstand numerous washings. Thank.You.Very.Much.
And before you, sweet gentle reader, come after me with a pitchfork and burning broom, let me explain that I don't even like children's clothing that is festooned with Barbie, Bratz, SpongeBob wetPants (yes, yes, I know that's not his name - but think about it) or any other TV character.
And now the confession. I have been known to sport a favorite athletic team on my person from time to time. That is about as far as I am willing to go to make my body the equivalent of a vehicle wrapper advertising for someone or something else. (GO CARDS!)
...............and how was your day? I would really like to know.
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