You know nobody hates the Debbie Downer person worse than I do, but good grief! Everybody has bad days, sometimes bad weeks and sometimes just an extremely awful year. It always discourages me when someone actually admits to having difficulties and gets assaulted with criticism about how they shouldn't say anything. Some even go so far as to indicate that it might be indicative of a lack of faith to express how disheartened we are.
Social networking is used for lots of different things. Reconnecting with old friends, keeping in touch with existing friends and just in general putting it all out there for the world to know and see. For some, it is a hopefully safe haven to express what they might not be able to express to their closest loved ones for fear of hurting someone's feelings. After all, don't we all have those moments when we would just like to "vent" without fear of reprisal?
I am of the opinion that people often speak their pain in the hope of just one person realizing they could use some good old fashioned spirit boosting and maybe even a prayer or two. After all, if we don't know someone's needs how do we know what to do to help.
Having said that, I am having a pretty difficult time right now myself. As bad as I thought a year ago was, this year is even worse. As bad as things were last December, I still was harboring that hope that it would improve. My mom would get better, I would have her closer to me in Arkansas and we would have some time to spend getting reacquainted. This December I know better. And so many things have happened this year. My mom died, I lost a little dog I was crazy about, Roger lost his father, I lost a sort of job, the business we are trying to grow struggles daily, I've had surgery on my nose which hurt like the dickens, money is tight, my husband is stressed, I'm on edge, I'm Crunky (which is my word for a cranky chunky person.)
I'm also very lucky....I have wonderful children and amazing grandchildren that brighten my days. I have gotten off my butt and started to actually produce some of the things that I have dabbled at for years. I have a "pack" of canines that are challenging and take my mind off my problems more often than not. I still have a roof over my head, food to eat and I'm staying warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I have a husband who puts up with me which is no small chore - he's very stoic and brave. And, I have wonderful friends. Friends who allow me to be me and express when I am in pain, scared, tired, and just downright frustrated and angry. I hope I am known to allow them that same freedom of expression.
So the next time you read or hear someone say something that indicates they are really struggling try to not make them feel bad for expressing it. That only serves to make them feel worse. If you are physically present, give them a hug, offer your shoulder, a kleenex to cry in. In fact, try crying with them...it might actually make both of you feel better and eventually find something to do or say that will brighten their day. We are all internalized to a certain degree but all it takes is opening your ears, your eyes and your heart to know what is needed.
So, fair warning......I am Crunky and will probably be this way for a bit. I hope you can weather the storm and come out on the other side still my friend.
1 comment:
I will always be your friend, even if you ARE crunky!! I know what you're saying, I grew up with the only way to accept pain, was to keep quiet, just continue on, smile, and the world won't know you're in pain. I'm sure the world is full of people in pain, and they're smiling. That's one reason suicide is so high this time of year, no one knows someone is in pain. It's a sad day when someone doesn't have anyone to go to for comfort. You're so right, we're so blessed, there's lots of pain, but, we do have friends!!
Merry Christmas, Friend!!
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