Oh Honey!!!

Why is it that men are ALWAYS sicker than women? Honestly we could have blood pouring from the corners of our eyes and let them have one little sniffle and **Poof** we must forego our own agony to fawn over them.
If my toe hurts, his whole leg is aching. If my back hurts, his hip is suffering. If I have a cold, he has the flu. If I'm having a crappy day at work, his is worse. Honestly I would complain about my monthlies but I'm afraid that he has developed those problems as well.
Get a grip fellow. I am not your mommy and I will not prepare jello water for you to drink or constantly hover over you asking if I can get you something. Especially since every effort I make to ease your misery is met with such palpable suffering. If you are that sick, call the doctor or let me. Ten times this weekend I have had my darling husband stand in front of me stating "I think I have fever." In each case he proves to be cool as a cucumber. Honestly if he's just trying to get out of doing all the things around the house that need to be done, all he has to do is say so, or leave. I'm sure he could find infinite reasons to make himself scarce.
Oh and here's a little clue. If the grandkids are here, you are NOT helping by hiding out in your man cave and watching football the whole time.
And please would you find someone to go do something with for awhile so I can clean up my house. Honestly what is it about the sight of a woman with a dustrag or vaccum cleaner that makes men want to position themselves directly in the line of fire and dare you to challenge them. And furthermore....must we use every single dish in the house before we clean any of them. Exactly how many glasses, plates and forks does it really take to get you through the day dear? I guess there's something wrong with me, I use the same glass and usually will wash my plate and fork rather than have both sinks filled with dirty dishes, while a dishwasher sits idly by sad, empty and unused like a jilted lover.
And finally, darling, may I introduce you to the trash can? It is that rather large round thing in the pantry. I've measured and it is exactly the same number of steps to the can as it is to the counter top where you leave your wadded up paper towels.
Thank you love for listening so patiently to my ranting and raving. Hopefully, some of my seeds of frustration have fallen on fertile soil. What's that honey? Did I see that play? Do I know the back story on that particular quarterback. Why no I didn't and I don't. I'll listen in a minute, right now I have to go and try to get the tube sock untangled from the vacuum cleaner roller and I do believe the dog needs to be pottied. And what's that? You'd like some biscuits and gravy? Well sure, let me go spend an hour cleaning up the kitchen and I'll be happy to whip up a quick batch for you. ARRRRRRGH!