I Bought It One Piece At A Time

If you follow my rantings and ravings you are aware that I have very strong opinions on everything from raised toilet seats to firearms in church. And since I don’t particularly like to argue with anyone over the validity of my opinions, I choose to Blog. In the Blogging world if you don’t like someone’s comment you simply get rid of it. Sad that all of life is not that easy! I’m kidding of course, I actually think good healthy discourse is productive. However, I also find that often there will be one component in a debate unwilling to let the opposing side have an opinion at all. They simply want their way, their words, their thinking. But…this is why I blog. I blog about things that are sad, things that make me happy and most of all things that I find wet my pants funny or give me those “what in the helicopter” moments.

I was watching television the other night. Admittedly probably reality TV – I am a card carrying Addicted to Reality show junkie. This fact drives my husband insane. I know he thinks I am above par in the intelligence department, but he DOES.NOT. get my compulsion to watch what he refers to as….”that crap”. Well, that is sort of what he calls it. But I ask you, where else could you see hair pulling, spitting snarling hairdressers? Redneck duck call manufacturers? Illegal Moonshine makers? And, gals who have a mission in life to help the overly endowed women of America find the perfect foundation garment. Really….who could not embrace a show called Double D…vas? And, I will spare you my glowing recommendations of all things “Housewife” – I keep hoping for a Real Housewives of Eastern Oklahoma – if they do that one I want to be involved in the casting process at the local Wal-Mart. **Calm down ladies……I have loads of perfectly wonderful friends in that area, but even you have to admit there are some real interesting folks over there** And I have no doubt it would soon be followed up by a spin-off for the ladies of Western Arkansas.

Part of the fun of reality TV is commercials. It was reality TV that introduced me to the For Farmers Only online dating opportunity. No………I didn’t call in for my perfect match. I’m totally happy where I am and besides at my age and weight I would probably be matched with Moonbeam McSwine’s dad.

The commercial that caught my eye of late is for a perfectly wonderful way to purchase a new car without having to pay a penny for it yourself. Given the fact I could really use a car I feel I may need to explore this option further.

This is a registry where you create your vehicle and then solicit donations from family and friends to “sponsor” an individual part. You know just like a bridal registry where someone buys you 2 bowls of your china pattern. Except………they might purchase two pistons. Think about it…..no one would ever have to wonder about what to get me for Christmas, my birthday, Valentine’s day, anniversary or just because I am wonderful.

My only concern is that at a ripe old age of nearly 63 do I have enough time left to provide enough events to get my car funded? What happens if I pass away with only a steering wheel, one tail light and a hood ornament? That would be the visual representation of my life….I’ve always been one blinker short of a good right turn.