Kiss It and Make It Better

So, yesterday I was in the doctor's office. I love my doctor. He is really one of the good guys - he always takes the time to listen to my ranting and raving (it could be because he is a writer and I'm probably the subject of his next book.) He never rushes me - he looks with interest at my broken toe, the healing incision on my nose and sympathizes with my frustrations in my literary efforts. Then little vampire that he is he sends in his minion with her needle to draw blood to make sure that all my thyroid meds are properly aligned with Mars.

I mentioned to him that I seem to have such a talent for offending people and his comment was "good for you." I was a bit taken back. After all, aren't people supposed to encourage you to be the best that you can be? And here he was telling me that offending people wasn't necessarily a bad thing!

And then he reminded me that sometimes, some really neat people in the world are not and have never been universally liked. Mostly, because they draw attention to the warts on someone's nose. They are the proverbial burr under the saddle blanket forcing people to either be pricked or get off their hobby horses and deal with the problem.

He went on to ask me "are you ever offended by something someone said?" To which I had to admit that I was. He further questioned the reason behind my taking offense. I found that I am offended for one of 2 reasons - the first is that something they have said is so diametrically opposed to what I believe to be true or they have struck a nerve with a grain of truth I can't disavow.

His advice to me was to be offensive - not purposely - but to never be ashamed for saying what I really think and feel. Because once I allow myself to self-censor based on someone else's truth, I will no longer be myself. Instead, I will be constantly changing and rearranging me to suit others. And then he said it - Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.

Thanks Doc! I'll forgive you for allowing me to be punctured with a needle and for never prescribing any good pain medication for me.