The advent of social networking, instant message, chat boxes and virtually instant contact with almost anyone on the planet brings great benefits AND certain challenges. To the species possessing thumbs, the ability to type, and to text has transformed itself into still yet another language full of merely letters strung together.
Text Message Shorthand for all U BFFs, tends to confuse me. The first time I saw BRB - all I could think of was they had changed the term for "runs batted in" and I couldn't work out the new term. Baseball runs batted? Baseball runners on base? Baseball ratings broadcast? Seeing NEway instead of anyway kind of makes me homicidal. And OMG only makes me think of the little girl I carried back and forth to dance classes with my daughter whose favorite phrase was "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my gooooooodness."
If you are like me, having been blessed to have Mary Dalton as your high school business teacher, you often type faster than you think. I don't know what magic Mrs. D had in her stylish handbag of business tricks, but I would venture to guess that her business students were some of the best prepared in our country.
I still have "mad" typing skills, and can still remember my brief forms even though the days of sitting with your steno pad while your boss drones on are long past. Sadly, bookkeeping still manages to daze and confuse me. Therefore, I just concentrate on trying to make sure there are always more numbers in the black ink than the red. This could explain why I've never been hired by an accounting department.
And while I am numerically and mathmatically challenged, I am a pro at the keyboard. Put me in front of a keyboard and I will happily blow you away, still typing while my aging brain is struggling to keep up. Sadly, I am a slow texter and I don't think trying to remember all that shorthand would speed me up one bit. I usually type full words although I have embraced LOL with great zeal. Those knowing me could tell you that would be a given.
But, more often than not I am guilty of just typing HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - to me that looks more like I might sound. And let's face it....who doesn't laugh out loud? Laughing inside isn't much fun - in fact, I've found it more than marginally painful.
But, I have encountered an evil little creature lurking there in cyber-space. I like to call him the Facebook Typing Gnome. We all know and despise him. You will recognize the work of that minion of the Darkside immediately. He takes our pithy comments the moment we hit "send" or "comment" and twists them into something unrecognizable. They are certainly nothing that WE did on our own. He is evil I tell you, pure unmitigated EVIL.
How many times have we typed "there" indicating a place only to see it appear as "their" indicating possession? Or dedicatedly put an "s" on the end of yours to see it pop up as singular? What does the FTG (calm down....Facebook Typing Gnome) do with all our s's? And then, some well meaning friend decides to call attention to our typo as if we didn't already feel badly enough about something we can't take back.
I have been known to punish myself for the FTG's work by typing my wrong word three times. But it rankles to be held responsible for something I KNOW I didn't do. The Gnome cares not, he is already merrily at work on someone else's Facebook page wrecking havoc with their posts and comments.
His favorite game to play with me is to make me feel unimportant by making my I, in reference to self, just a small and insignificant lower case letter. This happens fairly often, but recently it took place in an situation that was pretty embarrassing for me. Sending in a comment to a publication I am writing for, I was appalled to see "i" as part of my splendid and well phrased offering. I felt pretty danged dumb and I'm sure all the people reading it thought likewise.
However, now I'm starting to wonder..........why DO we capitalize I everywhere when referring to ourselves? My high school English teachers and my longtime best friend, Ms. Judy the English teacher, have cited me all kinds of rules on this subject and I still don't get it. Okay, okay...I patently refuse to get it. Correct me if I am wrong but isn't this the ONLY pronoun capitalized everywhere? What makes "I" so important. Does capitalizing our reference to ourselves make us better people? Does it make us feel better?
Better still, why is "I" so much more important than "you?"
Maybe our world would be a much better place if we placed the same importance on You as we place on I. I'll take this a step further, maybe You should not only be capitalized but also written in all caps with boldfaced fonts. Let's try it, shall we? "In an attempt to make YOU more important to me, i am going to afford YOU a larger place in my life."
Hmmmm....suddenly, i don't feel quite as important, but, how do YOU feel about YOURSELF?
So, the next time you see a little insignificant i emanating from me, remember that i must be feeling small and humbled by all the wonder GOD puts in my path daily. And, i also will be feeling so amazingly blessed to have all of YOU in my life.
Hey, suddenly i do feel pretty good - i might just remain a little i forever. So "snap" Facebook Typing Gnome! In this situation I OWN you! Time to move along, move along, you're not the droid we're looking for.
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