Embrace Me

Have you ever thought about how much power can be transferred by a mere touch? There is something "electric" in the human touch and if we begin to lose our "touchability" things get pretty whacked out in a great big hurry. I have read story after story of babies growing up in orphanages in other countries basically without the benefit of being held, snuggled, rocked...............touched.

The fundamental needs of food, clean clothes and shelter are met, but the inherent need for human contact is denied them. Sometimes these children don't fare so well even when placed in loving homes - they've missed out on something so important and it can't be replaced. In fact, in some circumstances the deprivation of human touch leaves them cold and detached.

I think most of us are at the peak of touching in our younger years. Oh, we do ALOT of touching in high school (pardon me while I blush).....ahem.....I'm all better now. Those tentative moments when two hands that are attracted to each other accidentally brush against each other, and bring that topping a rise in the road at a high rate of speed feeling to our tummies.

As we become more familiar the touch becomes more defined and more purposeful. We have learned the feeling it brings, we like it and we want more of it! It is about this time that we start to learn who is a "toucher" and who is a "touch me not." Myself, I've always been a "toucher", a "kisser" who welcomes physical contact with my family and friends.....oh heck....I'll admit it....sometimes even people I don't even know very well. I have to be careful to not offend because I am so outwardly affectionate. And since I am at my core a very insecure and sensitive person, rejection paralyzes me.

There is nothing more demoralizing than trying to reach out in genuine affection to someone whose response is akin to avoiding a person with cholera. It hurts. And, it makes the person who has made the overture feel that perhaps there is something about them which is mildly repellant. Have you ever tried to hug someone and had the feeling you were trying to embrace a tree in the petrified forest? Not very satisfying is it?

When we have children, there is nothing that soothes or calms them as much as the physical act of touching them. Picking them up, cradling them and murmuring soothing words while rocking back and forth comforts them and gives them the feeling of safety and security. And oddly enough, they adopt the same technique when dealing with us.....well usually anyway.

Grandkids are really great at this. In fact, you had better be seated when they catapult themselves into their greeting, talking a blue streak while covering you with moist kisses reeking of bubblegum and wrapping their sticky little fingers around the fibers of your heartstrings.

Even animals respond to the simple act of touching and reciprocate in kind. Dogs have "sweet spots" that render pure bliss for them when we scratch - behind the ears, the neck, under the chin, and on their tummies. They repay us by lying on our feet, pinning us to the mattress at night and "kissing" us unashamedly. Cats rumble like well oiled street rods when stroked and then twine in and out of our legs returning their affection. Or....they may be trying to kill us by tripping us....I'm not really clear on this one. Not much of a cat person here.

Life spins on and on and we grow older and become engrossed in our daily routines, our worries, our struggles and yes, our problems. Sometimes we become slightly introverted, some of us even jaded. And, sometimes we forget to touch or to invite touch.

Oh, we pray for people and we honestly care about others but we just don't reach out and give them the benefit of our physical self. Maybe I'm alone in this feeling, but there are times when I honestly feel like my skin is screaming for someone to simply "touch" me.

In these moments, I've learned to do a quick little body check. Have I become "prickly?" By my words or actions am I deterring that which I crave so much? Am I being "touchable?" Am I inviting people in or turning them away by being too rigid? To closely in check. And, how much have I extended my own touch lately?

Have I reached out and took my husband's hand as we were walking? Or do I wait for him to cautiously seek out my own? Did I take the time to steady a little trembling hand in the checkout line or seethe internally while that sweet little person carefully counted out pennies from a worn change purse? Have I ever turned away an embrace from a sweaty, smelly child with filthy little hands because I was wearing my good clothes? Did I reach down and pick up the poor neglected little dog covered in filth and pestilence - or turn away excusing myself because I have too many? Dogs...not pestilence.

Granted, there are times when I have held myself so closely in check that someone's mere touch has caused me to burst into tears. Immediate hot tears that burned through my heart, my mind, my spirit and my soul leaving me weak. I've cried my eyes out and never felt so good. Of course, this could explain why a great segment of my acquaintances think I may be slightly daft.

Times are difficult these days. Not every week yields up something amusing and funny. Not every day affords me a chance to "touch" you with my wit and amusing banter. But every day provides us with a reason to physically touch someone else. For truly, "no man is an island unto himself" - we are all traveling through this world together bound for something far better. And I am assured at the end of the road we will be wrapped in the most loving of arms and held closer than close forever............

Till then, I should warn you. If I see you, I'm grabbing you and hugging the daylights out of you and I will probably kiss you with abandon - (I'll try to make sure I've had a Tic-Tac.) And I may repeatedly reach out and touch you to make sure you understand my intent is to share myself with you. If you are a guy, please tell your wife or girlfriend that I am harmless. If you are female, chances are you understand me already.

And so.....in the words of the telephone company "reach out and touch someone." But don't do it by phone - do it in person. And, if you see me......please...."Embrace me, my sweet embraceable YOU."

...............and how was your day? I would really like to know. lkbeshears@sbcglobal.net