Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Here comes the Sun!!

After what seems like weeks of unending rain, we have sunshine today. I honestly was starting to think I like in Forks since I could have sworn I saw the Cullen family moving in next door.
It is amazing what just a little sunshine can do for the spirit. Suddenly things seem a little more hopeful. And you can go outside and get away from the things that are driving you crazy inside.
What astonishes me is how little sun it takes to dry up big old mud puddles. The dogs are able to bask in the nice warm rays of sunshine. I know Max and his arthritis really appreciates getting his bones all heated up. Of course by this evening they will stink to high heaven and smell just like Dogs!!
Yay sun - rain stay away for awhile, and leave us the sun to make us all smile.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Dancing In Again--

Well, it is Monday night so I am freshly bathed and holding down the couch cushion with my laptop. I'm glad they are having Mya dance first - I might be able to stomach some of the other performances. There is jitterbugging in my future YAY!!
She is absolutely a great little dancer, I'm afraid they spent too much time fiddling about at the beginning. I'm scoring her a 8. Judges scores: C - 8 L - 7 B - 9. I knew it I knew Len wouldn't like the dusting at the beginning. He's obviously reinserted the cob.
Now Melissa is waltzing. Honestly I can't figure out what is wrong with her, she just looks clumsy, stiff and out of step in everything she does. And I want to like her but.........My score: 5 - Judges scores: C - 7 L - 7 B - 6. And now the judges agree with me except for Len who is obviously bi-polar. And they overscored her!!
And now we will see if the Iron Chef can get something cooking with his jitterbug. He will have to step it up because Lacey can shake it in places most of us have long since lost. Here we go....this was very cute! And I loved all the athleticism that the routine called for. I'm telling you that Lacey girl is a tank - I'm betting she could bench press a Buick. I'm giving him a 10!!!!! Judges scores: C - 9 L - 9 B - 8 . Haters!! The routine was worthy of a perfect score.
Now comes Aaron who I've come to despise....he just hits on my very last nerve. He will be waltzing. Blech.....he just disturbs the crap out of me. I get the feeling if he could dance with a mirror in his hand he would be happier. My score: 6 The judges scores: C - 8 L - 9 B - 8 . Oh give me a giant personal break...it was like watching 2 girls dance together. Sorry!!! Oh, oh, I think he's going to cry again.
Next we will have Michael trying to waltz his way into a better spot on the leaderboard. He looked like he genuinely enjoyed this dance and I think his performance reflected that this was indeed his cup of tea. My score: 8 Judges scores: C - 6 L - 8 B - 6 .OMG I'm going to agree with Len - prepare yourself for the endtimes!!!
Now Kelly will be jitterbugging. She had a minor injury last week and bless her heart she is sooooo insecure. I hope she can nail this dance to the wall. If she could just turn loose of herself and have the fun that I think she needs to have she would score better. Plus I just have to love those fat little legs of hers. My score: 7 Judges scores: C - 7 L - 6 B - 7.
Now Louie will try to get his motor running in the jitterbug. Maybe the energy of this dance will compensate for his short coupled little bod. I'm hoping that when he dumped Chelsie on her butt it was part of the routine. It was cute at times a little hectic and out of control looking. My score: 7 Well that answers that it wasn't an intentional dumping, they will dock him for that. Judges score: C - 7
L - 7 B - 7 .
Now JoAnna is back with Derek and they will be waltzing. She should be perfect in this dance. She did well, but the costume proved to be problematic and their one little stunt got all balled up and was messy looking: My score: 6 But the judges are going to overscore her. They must not see what we see here at home. Judges scores - C -8 L - 9 B - 9 .
Now get ready to be wowed -Donny will be jittering and bugging or just bugging. As he does me - I am tired tired tired of his schtick. Of course he will be here till the end as he is related to 1/2 the free world and goes to church with the other half. He may not be able to go back to Utah after holding Kym upside down with his face practically in her booo-tay. They will score him pretty high. For my part I give him an 8. Judges scores: C - 8 L - 8 B - 8. Well obviously we are in agreement.
Now for the competition Mambo. Well the costumes are very bright and colorful. Since there will be a double elimination tomorrow night. I'm still ready for Melissa and Aaron to go.
For gosh sakes, Donny just can't NOT be the center of attention. When tapped out of the competition he took up considerably amounts of Derek's time acting like an Ass.
The judges are certainly smitten with JoAnna.
OKAY if anyone leaves tomorrow night other than Melissa and Aaron it will be a miscarriage of justice.
Meemaw out!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Oh Honey!!!

Why is it that men are ALWAYS sicker than women? Honestly we could have blood pouring from the corners of our eyes and let them have one little sniffle and **Poof** we must forego our own agony to fawn over them.
If my toe hurts, his whole leg is aching. If my back hurts, his hip is suffering. If I have a cold, he has the flu. If I'm having a crappy day at work, his is worse. Honestly I would complain about my monthlies but I'm afraid that he has developed those problems as well.
Get a grip fellow. I am not your mommy and I will not prepare jello water for you to drink or constantly hover over you asking if I can get you something. Especially since every effort I make to ease your misery is met with such palpable suffering. If you are that sick, call the doctor or let me. Ten times this weekend I have had my darling husband stand in front of me stating "I think I have fever." In each case he proves to be cool as a cucumber. Honestly if he's just trying to get out of doing all the things around the house that need to be done, all he has to do is say so, or leave. I'm sure he could find infinite reasons to make himself scarce.
Oh and here's a little clue. If the grandkids are here, you are NOT helping by hiding out in your man cave and watching football the whole time.
And please would you find someone to go do something with for awhile so I can clean up my house. Honestly what is it about the sight of a woman with a dustrag or vaccum cleaner that makes men want to position themselves directly in the line of fire and dare you to challenge them. And furthermore....must we use every single dish in the house before we clean any of them. Exactly how many glasses, plates and forks does it really take to get you through the day dear? I guess there's something wrong with me, I use the same glass and usually will wash my plate and fork rather than have both sinks filled with dirty dishes, while a dishwasher sits idly by sad, empty and unused like a jilted lover.
And finally, darling, may I introduce you to the trash can? It is that rather large round thing in the pantry. I've measured and it is exactly the same number of steps to the can as it is to the counter top where you leave your wadded up paper towels.
Thank you love for listening so patiently to my ranting and raving. Hopefully, some of my seeds of frustration have fallen on fertile soil. What's that honey? Did I see that play? Do I know the back story on that particular quarterback. Why no I didn't and I don't. I'll listen in a minute, right now I have to go and try to get the tube sock untangled from the vacuum cleaner roller and I do believe the dog needs to be pottied. And what's that? You'd like some biscuits and gravy? Well sure, let me go spend an hour cleaning up the kitchen and I'll be happy to whip up a quick batch for you. ARRRRRRGH!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

And Now They Have a Monkey!

I am watching a documentary on TLC called "My Monkey Baby". I am mildly disturbed by this production. I have found that documentaries typically have a tongue in cheek way of making fun of the people they are chronicling.
This particular viewing follows 3 couples who have opted to raise a monkey instead of a baby. In each case this is probably a good call. These people treat the animals exactly as you and I would treat a human baby. They are cuddled and slept with, fed human food, dressed in doll clothes and spoiled beyond imagination.
In the case of one couple they are outraged when they are told they cannot eat in a restaurant with their "baby". Their entire argument is that their monkey behaves better than most children. Maybe so, but I still don't want to share a restaurant with an animal. There is a health issue here. I am the biggest dog lover in the world but I don't take my dog to a restaurant.
Now one monkey is getting punished for taking her "panties" off. Hello......animal.....not supposed to wear panties.
In the case of 2 of these women, I worry about their mental stability. One woman by her own admission lost touch with her 6 children after they grew up. She has grandchildren that she doesn't see but instead she pours all her love and devotion into her monkey. I find myself wondering about her kids and grandkids. What an empty spot they must have in their lives where their mom and grandmother is supposed to be.
One of the things my parents instilled in me was that it was my duty to grow up, become an independent functioning adult and produce independent functioning adults as well. Because my children are grown and can do for themselves this does not relieve my role as their mother. My grandchildren are a joyous thing for me. I have one who always, always tells me how pretty I look. Sorry folks, I need that. And while my animals adore me with a devotion that sometimes passes all understanding, they cannot give me that reassurance of their love that little arms wrapped around my neck and a small voice whispering secrets in my ear can.
The other woman actually had step-daughters at one time who she obviously loved a lot and she has thrown herself into raising several monkeys in lieu of the children she can't have.
The third couple is young, the guy has opted to have a vasectomy to keep from having kids. He and his girlfriend are not married. As I am watching right now they are smuggling their "baby" into Target on a shopping spree. I can see this custody case taking shape even before the bloom of the new baby has faded.
Primates live a long time so the issue of what happens to the monkey when the "parents" pass away. Somehow in the case of the one woman I suspect her children are even now seeking legal counsel to figure out what their options are. I can see the court case now. Since the monkey baby is used to wearing makeup and real clothing maybe she can "pass" for just another face in the crowd in the courtroom. And let us not forget that primates are still "wild" animals capable of losing it at the drop of a hat and hurting the very people who loved them so much.
I really feel badly that these women who obviously have so much love to give can't find a human outlet for that affection. There are so many people especially children in the world that could benefit from that outpouring of love. That being said I would hesitate to have my child left alone with either of them.
The saying of "different strokes for different folks" has never rang more true.