Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us….well, actually they do.

I don’t understand this…..you can’t make me understand this.  When did a simple little ordinary hamburger lose its’ entire identity as an individual item?

Apparently one of our favorite fast food chains (who shall remain nameless) – but they do have a big disturbing clown as their spokes annoyance – refuses to recognize the lowly hamburger.

You can order it but what you will receive is a cheeseburger/no cheese.  It takes 12 additional characters on their sales ticket to produce a hamburger.  I’m pretty sure the plain old hamburger came first – is it fair that now all things burger must be linked with cheese?  What about the lactose intolerant?  And Wimpy, what is to become of poor Wimpy who will gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today?!

And what about the message here?  We are going to print on your ticket what a bothersome wench you are by daring to order merely hamburger when everyone in the free world KNOWS there must be cheese.

I actually like cheese…………..in fact…………….I pretty much LOVE cheese, but oddly enough I’ve never wanted it on my burger.  But since I am surely causing someone a great deal of work by NOT allowing them to slap cheese on my order, I shall adjust.

From now on I’m going to order a cheeseburger WITH.GOUDA.CHEESE – when they inform me they do not have that cheese, I will work my way down the list of exotic dairy products, FETA, LIMBURGER, SWISS…….the possibilities are endless!

At some point they will certainly inform me that my only option is an AMERICAN cheese clone substitute.  Then, I will say “I didn’t really want cheese but since you don’t offer a plain hamburger I thought I should at least get the cheese I prefer.

By now, I’m pretty certain there will be a significant line of honking cars behind me, perhaps one or two angry words and some interesting hand signals.  Ask me if I care…….just give me my danged HAMBURGER – I don’t feel the need to explain to you that I want you to hold the cheese.

Parenting Minus 101

In the “What in the Helicopter” were they thinking department – the human Barbie Doll.  This British lady has had mutiple plastic surgeries to reportedly make herself look like a human Barbie doll.  May I say it has worked splendidly because she officially looks more plastic than a car full of Wal-Mart sacks.

But today, she has put her primo parenting skills at the forefront of news services everywhere by giving her 7 year old a voucher for roughly 10K in liposuction “when the time comes.”  Geez……most kids are thrilled with a pony.

One has to wonder why someone did not step in when she gave the child a similar gift certificate for breast augmentation when she turns 18.

I guess over summer vacay they can go together and get matching tattoos and navel piercings.  I believe in being a friend to your kids to some degree but PLEASE be a parent first.

My question is when all that silicone starts to break down in “mummy” will she regret setting her child’s feet on the road to destruction.  Or….will she wrestle the vouchers away from the child to try to “fix” the damage being wrecked on her own person.

Something is seriously wrong with this woman’s value system – I pray for this child and wonder where is Daddy?

THINGS WERE BOOMING IN BORGER TEXAS

My daddy was an oilfield man. He didn't start out to be, but like many others, whose initial plans didn't quite work out, he became one. And once the smell of rich black crude hit his nostrils, he never looked back. Gone were his dreams of being a gentleman lawyer along with the disappointment of not being able to remain with the Texas Rangers - the law enforcement agency, not the ball team.

Because of dad's profession and where he chose to settle, Borger's "boom town" days are the legends I grew up on. The first Panhandle oil well was drilled near Borger, TX on May 2, 1921, on the 6666 Ranch of S.B. Burnett. While that well was a poor quality strike, the 1926 gushing arrival of Texas Tea caused the town of Borger to explode into existence practically overnight. Merely ninety days after that first big "strike", there were reportedly 45,000 people living, loving, drinking and fighting in a place previously filled with tumbleweeds, antelope and prairie dogs.

The history of "Booger Town" is one I encourage you to delve into. You will find a story rich in sex, drugs and boogie-woogie. The town teemed with oilmen, prospectors, roughnecks, panhandlers, fortune seekers, card sharks, bootleggers, prostitutes, and dope peddlers. Naturally, it became a refuge for criminals and fugitives from the law, hence the nickname “Booger Town.”

Quickly, the town government was firmly in the grasp of an organized crime syndicate led by the unsavory and shady "Two-Gun Dick" Herwig. Borger became notorious for brothels, dance halls, gambling dens, slot machines, and speakeasies. Murder and robbery became commonplace. Illegal moonshine stills and home breweries flourished with the blessings of Herwig and his henchmen, including W. J. (Shine) Popejoy, the KING of the Texas bootleggers.

Merely a year after Borger had roared its’ way into existence, Governor Daniel J. Moody sent a detachment of Texas Rangers, under the leadership of Captains Frank Hamer and Thomas Hickman to remedy the situation. Captain Hamer later became famous as one of
the lawmen involved in the ambush of Bonnie and Clyde.

Although the rangers proved to be a stabilizing force compelling many undesirables to leave town, Borger's wave of crime and violence continued intermittently into the 1930s. After a couple of high profile murders, the Governor once again stepped in and imposed
martial law for a month. State troops were dispatched to help local authorities rid the town of its’ lawless element. That goal was eventually achieved but not before Ace Borger, town promoter for whom Borger was named, was shot to death by his longtime
enemy Arthur Huey in 1934.

This article was reworked from information found in the history of Borger, strangely enough I had never heard any of it.

A drop of trivia: The first rotary drilling rig, built at the staggering price of $25,000, was placed into use near Borger, TX by W.T. Willis, J.E. Trigg, and H.D. Lewis. The 6-inch-diameter (150 mm) drill could pierce through rock.

MERRY CHRISTMAS–yes I said it.

I said it and I refuse to apologize for it.  And what’s more I’m dad gummed tired of being made to feel like I have to be sorry for saying it.

I find it interesting that all those groups who have screamed for years about tolerance, understanding and inclusion have suddenly become so intolerant, narrow minded and exclusionary.

Lately, I’ve seen multiple news reports on people’s insistence that nativity sets not be shown, that Happy Holidays should be shouted as opposed to Merry Christmas, that Christmas is a myth – a fairy tale if you will.

While I understand the date may be off by some months – I simply.do.not.care.  I don’t know when some of my dogs were born either, but I gave them a birthday anyway.  The group of so-called deluded people who celebrate CHRISTmas are called CHRISTians.  Therefore, it stands to reason we choose to keep CHRIST both in our holiday and in our “club” name.

I don’t care what you call yourself, I don’t care what you do or don’t believe (that’s a lie – I do care and am praying for you), I don’t care if you celebrate kwanzaa (speaking of made up holidays), Hanukkah (great peace and blessings – my Jewish friends), the winter solstice, apple blossom time or the advent of your yearly dental exam.  Please allow me to do the same.

If the sight of a nativity offends you – don’t look.  If hearing Merry Christmas bugs you – turn off your hearing aids or better yet – stay home.  Your right to not be subjected to things that offend you DO NOT supersede my right to enjoy them.  YOU are not more important than me and I am not more important than YOU.

It is disheartening to me to know there are people who have so little to do they have time to be offended ALL THE TIME.  I wish my circle of acquaintances had less work to do and as much time to spend trying to protect and preserve OUR way of life as you have trying to tear it down.

However, I think I have devised a plan that should make everyone happy.  Anytime a group of people decides they are offended by something and wish to have a disclaimer banner posted along with the offensive sight – make them sign it.  Put some muscle behind your griping.  Go on record with your name, address and phone number.  Then have the other side of the situation do the same as supporters of the offending object.  You see as Christians we believe it is not only our right but our duty to proclaim our faith – we will happily go on record in support of our CHRISTmas.

Pretty sure the number of signatures on our banner will outnumber the ones on yours by a pretty astounding margin.  And if you choose to engage us in thoughtful and serious debate, we will welcome you with the love and tolerance our Christ demands of us.

I am only one person – but I am taking back my Christmas.  You will never see a Happy Holidays card from me, nor hear me utter those words.  This is Christmas – a time of joy and celebration for the birth of the light of the world, the Savior of man, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  I will not be ashamed nor will I try to hide His light under a veil of non-offensive meaningless images and words.

Welcome Lord Jesus!

A Christmas Bargain

This is the cover for my children’s book Genevieve’s Window – this is a peaceful easy reading bedtime poem.  It is the first book I self published and is available at www.lulu.com

This is the cover for my interactive alphabet book The Alphabet From Amazing to Zany.  It is also published and available at www.lulu.com  This book offers many opportunities to teach your children and talk with them about the funny pictures depicting each letter of the alphabet.

Lulu is offering a 30% discount on my books right now and they are absorbing the cost of the discount which means my revenue from sales stays the same.  WIN!

These are good Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers and I would very much appreciate any support of my work.  Should you decide to purchase use this code WINTERSAVE305

Thanks my friends and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Real Thing

Suddenly there is all this confusion over this white can.  People claim to be able to tell the difference in Coke in red cans and Coke in white cans.   Some say they are so confused by the can because it looks like a Diet Coke can (ummmm….okay…except Diet Coke cans are silver and SAY..…….DIET. COKE.

People are Utubing, Tweeting, Texting, Smoke Signaling and using hand signals (some not so pretty) about the audacity of Coca Cola to change their packaging for the holidays.  So incensed are some members of John Q. Public that Coke is bending to the criticism and removing the white cans and replacing them with red.

I honestly thought you had to be in your 80’s or 90’s to fear change and be so cantakerous.  I realized I was getting close, but little did I know that MY generation, who used to be so hip and progressive in their thinking could turn out to be such a bunch of old fuddy duddies.

Here’s the thing…I don’t care if this stuff is in a bottle, a red can, a white can, a green can or a bean can…it is still the bomb.  Still my drink of choice, both mixed and unmixed.  You can shoot it out of a fountain head or put it in a plastic 2 liter bottle.  I simply don’t care.  All I care about is that IT IS.

I thought it was kind of cool they were doing something to call attention to endangered wildlife by featuring the polar bears, but what do I know?

And, you….yes, you lady….the one who can do the blind taste test and tell if the can is red or white….come to my kitchen kiddo and we will check you for accuracy.  I’m betting you can’t tell – I couldn’t and I’m pretty sure my bloodstream is running at about 98 proof for Coca Cola right now.

Its’ can might be white, but it is still the Real Thing.  Oh and by the way…..companies have the right to market their product as they see fit.  And I’m okay with that as long as they aren’t morally reprehensible.  I refuse to be offended by “white.”