Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us….well, actually they do.

I don’t understand this…..you can’t make me understand this.  When did a simple little ordinary hamburger lose its’ entire identity as an individual item?

Apparently one of our favorite fast food chains (who shall remain nameless) – but they do have a big disturbing clown as their spokes annoyance – refuses to recognize the lowly hamburger.

You can order it but what you will receive is a cheeseburger/no cheese.  It takes 12 additional characters on their sales ticket to produce a hamburger.  I’m pretty sure the plain old hamburger came first – is it fair that now all things burger must be linked with cheese?  What about the lactose intolerant?  And Wimpy, what is to become of poor Wimpy who will gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today?!

And what about the message here?  We are going to print on your ticket what a bothersome wench you are by daring to order merely hamburger when everyone in the free world KNOWS there must be cheese.

I actually like cheese…………..in fact…………….I pretty much LOVE cheese, but oddly enough I’ve never wanted it on my burger.  But since I am surely causing someone a great deal of work by NOT allowing them to slap cheese on my order, I shall adjust.

From now on I’m going to order a cheeseburger WITH.GOUDA.CHEESE – when they inform me they do not have that cheese, I will work my way down the list of exotic dairy products, FETA, LIMBURGER, SWISS…….the possibilities are endless!

At some point they will certainly inform me that my only option is an AMERICAN cheese clone substitute.  Then, I will say “I didn’t really want cheese but since you don’t offer a plain hamburger I thought I should at least get the cheese I prefer.

By now, I’m pretty certain there will be a significant line of honking cars behind me, perhaps one or two angry words and some interesting hand signals.  Ask me if I care…….just give me my danged HAMBURGER – I don’t feel the need to explain to you that I want you to hold the cheese.

Parenting Minus 101

In the “What in the Helicopter” were they thinking department – the human Barbie Doll.  This British lady has had mutiple plastic surgeries to reportedly make herself look like a human Barbie doll.  May I say it has worked splendidly because she officially looks more plastic than a car full of Wal-Mart sacks.

But today, she has put her primo parenting skills at the forefront of news services everywhere by giving her 7 year old a voucher for roughly 10K in liposuction “when the time comes.”  Geez……most kids are thrilled with a pony.

One has to wonder why someone did not step in when she gave the child a similar gift certificate for breast augmentation when she turns 18.

I guess over summer vacay they can go together and get matching tattoos and navel piercings.  I believe in being a friend to your kids to some degree but PLEASE be a parent first.

My question is when all that silicone starts to break down in “mummy” will she regret setting her child’s feet on the road to destruction.  Or….will she wrestle the vouchers away from the child to try to “fix” the damage being wrecked on her own person.

Something is seriously wrong with this woman’s value system – I pray for this child and wonder where is Daddy?

THINGS WERE BOOMING IN BORGER TEXAS

My daddy was an oilfield man. He didn't start out to be, but like many others, whose initial plans didn't quite work out, he became one. And once the smell of rich black crude hit his nostrils, he never looked back. Gone were his dreams of being a gentleman lawyer along with the disappointment of not being able to remain with the Texas Rangers - the law enforcement agency, not the ball team.

Because of dad's profession and where he chose to settle, Borger's "boom town" days are the legends I grew up on. The first Panhandle oil well was drilled near Borger, TX on May 2, 1921, on the 6666 Ranch of S.B. Burnett. While that well was a poor quality strike, the 1926 gushing arrival of Texas Tea caused the town of Borger to explode into existence practically overnight. Merely ninety days after that first big "strike", there were reportedly 45,000 people living, loving, drinking and fighting in a place previously filled with tumbleweeds, antelope and prairie dogs.

The history of "Booger Town" is one I encourage you to delve into. You will find a story rich in sex, drugs and boogie-woogie. The town teemed with oilmen, prospectors, roughnecks, panhandlers, fortune seekers, card sharks, bootleggers, prostitutes, and dope peddlers. Naturally, it became a refuge for criminals and fugitives from the law, hence the nickname “Booger Town.”

Quickly, the town government was firmly in the grasp of an organized crime syndicate led by the unsavory and shady "Two-Gun Dick" Herwig. Borger became notorious for brothels, dance halls, gambling dens, slot machines, and speakeasies. Murder and robbery became commonplace. Illegal moonshine stills and home breweries flourished with the blessings of Herwig and his henchmen, including W. J. (Shine) Popejoy, the KING of the Texas bootleggers.

Merely a year after Borger had roared its’ way into existence, Governor Daniel J. Moody sent a detachment of Texas Rangers, under the leadership of Captains Frank Hamer and Thomas Hickman to remedy the situation. Captain Hamer later became famous as one of
the lawmen involved in the ambush of Bonnie and Clyde.

Although the rangers proved to be a stabilizing force compelling many undesirables to leave town, Borger's wave of crime and violence continued intermittently into the 1930s. After a couple of high profile murders, the Governor once again stepped in and imposed
martial law for a month. State troops were dispatched to help local authorities rid the town of its’ lawless element. That goal was eventually achieved but not before Ace Borger, town promoter for whom Borger was named, was shot to death by his longtime
enemy Arthur Huey in 1934.

This article was reworked from information found in the history of Borger, strangely enough I had never heard any of it.

A drop of trivia: The first rotary drilling rig, built at the staggering price of $25,000, was placed into use near Borger, TX by W.T. Willis, J.E. Trigg, and H.D. Lewis. The 6-inch-diameter (150 mm) drill could pierce through rock.