I'll Have The Chicken With A Side Order of Popcorn Please

Okay, so today I went to Atwoods Farm and Ranch Supply to give them roughly $100.00 of my money. It was stock up on dog food day at the Casa de Beshears. Just as I have done a hundred times before I took one of my dogs with me. They have always been welcome in Atwoods. This time I took Cooper since he was in need of something green to wear in the St. Paddy's Day Parade.
I entered the store with Cooper sitting on my purse in the baby seat of the basket. Passed by water tanks full of rabbits, ducks and baby chicks and ALMOST made it to the dog food area when I was stopped by one of the associates and told that my dog could not come in their store. I inquired as to why since they had always been allowed before. He explained to me that the health department had told them they could not have animals in the store because they served food. Food? Yes, ma'am we have popcorn and therefore we cannot allow animals in our store. Well, what about the "livestock" you have in the store for sale? Well they are in contained areas. Okay, I will be happy to give all my business to Petco in the future and I'm sure they'll be happy to get it. I gathered my "offensive" dog and headed for the store exit. On my way out I observed some adolescent girls who had been stroking and handling the rabbits and chicks serving themselves some popcorn. Hmmmmm - And stay out of the Atwoods - (I wonder if that means just that store or all of them) **apologies to O Brother Where Art Thou**

Things That Make Me Go .......HUH?

In the police report section of today's local paper I learned that 50 bras ranging in size from 32A to 38D had been stolen from Victoria's Secret. Wow! This leads one to believe someone just came in and "scooped" up a whole rack and ran with them. The Victoria's Secret here is in a mall - 50 bras are going to be hard to cram in a purse even one the size of a Buddha Bag. The 38D's alone would fill a substantial shopping bag. Leaving me to wonder. How did this happen? Where were store personnel? And did no one see someone fleeing VS with flapping straps and bobbing cups? I think as a store manager I might have been ashamed to report this one.

I'm hoping this was a typo and someone really didn't involve the police. Property valued at $1 (yes, you read it right) one dollar was stolen from a local residence. Crap! I want to call the police department and offer to give that person a dollar. I can't right many injustices in the world but I can sure handle that one.

And finally, a Pocola, OK police officer shot his wife in the foot while clearing his gun. The report states the officer was in the river bottoms shooting his gun, went home, sat down next to his wife to clear his weapon and "accidentally" shot her in the foot. He then proceeded to drive her to the hospital for treatment where he was questioned in connection to the shooting. Wonder what the chances are in a few weeks the report will read "local Oklahoma police officer found beaten senseless while sleeping" wife claims she was cooking breakfast for her husband and "accidentally" dropped her iron skillet on his head 3 times.

**Courtesy of my friend Denise and the Texas Redneck Society**
If you ever hid in a clothes dryer to avoid being busted for selling meth . . . you might be a Redneck. If you ever caught your garage and dog house on fire because you put the waffle iron the dog's house to keep it warm . . . you might just be a redneck. Can't make this stuff up . . . Brilliance here in the Texas Panhandle

May I Direct You To A Different Location

Until I get used to having to have a column once a week, my blog posts will be appearing at www.hutchinsoncountyhighlights.com I sincerely hope you will look the paper up on line and read there. There are several other really good columnists writing for the HCH and I think you will enjoy them too.
See you in the funny papers.............oops I mean paper.