Crayons

We've all experienced the pure joy of a brand new box of crayons. Bright and vivid colors, with nice sharp points, clearly defining their color names on the wrappers that hug them tight. Alas, crayons do not stay fresh and sharp forever. Little hands, gripping them so tightly can snap them right in two and then you have two not-so-perfect reds, or blues, or greens. Sometimes, it is the crayon that is used the most that breaks first.

However, as long as all the crayons are present, we can still make a pretty fine picture. It takes all the colors.

Yellow for the bright and happy sun. Red for the delicious apples and bright little boats. White for those nice highlights on everything and black to give the whole picture more definition, shading and interest.

Our country has become a box of crayons.......we have all the primary colors represented along with some nice hybrid colors that happened by mixing together a few other shades and hues. We have a glorious array of beautiful faces in all colors, all religions, all races, all lifestyles. And, I dare say, most of the people I know who are my age ceased to see a clear difference in "color" a long time ago. We were raised by people who saw color very distinctly and were pretty danged vocal about it. But my generation was smart and we learned that there were broken crayons of EVERY color in our box, but there were also some very beautiful and wonderful bright happy ones represented there as well and we colored with our box with wild abandon.

Now....suddenly...we are being asked to only see one shade of crayon. We are being told that if that crayon is broken it matters more than any other color in the box. In fact, maybe we should take all our other crayons and break them in order to make it up to that one broken crayon.

I am afraid if something doesn't change very soon, one of our crayons will be cast aside forever and then our pictures will no longer be as pretty, no longer be bright and vivid and full of hope and promise.

So....what color crayon are you? When you color with only yourself, is the picture pretty or kind of flat and uninteresting? Hopefully, we can get back to a place where all crayons have an equal slot in the box without having to toss out a color or two just because one of them was not colored with well in the past.

Got Game?

 

I like to spend some of my leisure time playing games..........mostly games I find on Facebook. There are lots of really good ones and they are really fun to play.

That is.......until.............you reach that magic portion of the game when the game decides you no longer have need of advancement and chooses to make you linger in the purgatory of level 69 in Candy Crush where that disembodied voice takes great pleasure in letting you know you failed to clear the jelly. Or then there is level 308 in Bubble Witch Saga with the linked bubbles and I refuse to talk about that one altogether. And who cannot appreciate the Farm Heroes Saga that wants you to accumulate 198 onions, apples and strawberries in 10 moves. Loads of fun!!

My frustration level drove me back to Words With Friends where I was promptly handed my butt by every opponent known to man. I even played random people in hopes of finding someone stupid....didn't work.

In desperation to find something I could play without pulling out my eyebrow hairs, I wandered back over to Farmtown where I promptly planted a whole plot of grapes and then forgot about them. When I returned, they were withered and dead. Fail..............epic.fail.

I think I am being told to step away from the dark side and go back to my needle and embroidery thread. I have a Christmas stocking to finish before this Christmas. I have a feeling if I don't get this project done in time I'm going to find out what an epic failure I really am.

Sweeeet!

N SYNC

Noooooooooo, not these guys………..

The in synch I’m talking about involves my neighborhood.  I wonder how hard it would be to get everyone to agree to mow/weed eat/edge and trim at the same time on the same day?

I have this really cozy little Party-o that I am super duper proud of and I love to sit out there and read and sometimes sew.  Invariably my time there is limited to about 12 minutes because just as I get settled and really “into” my project……someone cranks up their dad gummed mower and there goes the peace and quiet.

To make matters worse, when someone is mowing, it really hacks off the dogs in other yards and they start barking and flinging themselves at the fence in the hope they can take on the mowing beast they can hear but not see.

Then there are the neighbors who have a dog simply because it must be “cool” to have a dog.  That dog is so bored and so neglected he barks if he hears a mouse fart in the neighboring town.  I have what could be classified as a “herd” of canine family members and collectively they don’t make as much noise as that one dog on a given day. 

Howl Fests are excluded from the above statement – everyone knows a good howling simply cannot be avoided from time to time.

One of my neighbors mows his entire yard with a weed eater.  This is the same neighbor I refer to as the Tree Butcher who takes it upon himself to trim my vegetation as he deems it necessary.  However, the fact that his truck garden is climbing over my fence and encroaching my personal space escapes him.  I’m just hoping the “yield” of the encroachment is something I like….because I’m keeping it.

Living in town has its advantages……you are close to the store……….yeah, that’s about it.

But the disadvantage are you have to peacefully co-exist with relative strangers.  And I try very hard to NOT be “that” neighbor who takes issue with every little thing.  However, we are now a week past 4th of July and my tolerance for fireworks have ceased.

In case you are reading this – we will be mowing our yard on Tuesday……maybe in the early morning and maybe really late at night.  I’d like for it to be a surprise for you.  Seriously, the city can set up days and times you can water, why not when you can mow.  Then we could all sit on my Party-o, drink a beer, listen to music and chat without screaming at each other.  Let’s get In Synch people…………..

What’s On?

Sooooooo, first of all (Reality show junkie that I am) I have to say I am sorta likin’ this little Bachelorette chick. Aside from being a little loose with her lips which some might find a bit gross (I don’t – I think kissing is fun and let’s face it….if the earth don’t move when someone kisses you – why bother taking the trip) Ms. Des is a pretty down to earth little gal.

I was a bit worried about her at first over her inability to see when she was being manipulated and played, but she went a long way toward easing my fears when she sent “Gentle Ben” packing. After all, she lived through the whole Terrible Tierra thing last season and she needed to recognize when that behavior was manifesting again. Now if she can just see through the prettiness and smooth talkin’ James she might actually have a shot at a great guy.

That being said…..my husband is about to embark on a worldwide “Revoking your Man Card Tour.” We are both noticing a trend in our television viewing that seems to indicate guys are becoming more tuned in to their softer side. Now….I can appreciate a guy who has the ability to be tender, but the sight of guys crying all the time kind of makes me cringe. I will never get to the point that I don’t appreciate a guy who will go “balls to the wall” for the people he loves and a cause he believes in.

When the likes of Sean Connery, Sam Elliott and Tom Selleck are the things your dreams are made of, someone tearing up over not getting a one on one date leaves you a bit cold and makes you feel kinda icky.

Now, on to much more serious matters. Falling Skies. Love.This.ALOT! I’ve been secretly crushing on Noah Wyle since his ER days and this story of a professor turned blood and guts freedom fighter waging war against aliens really gets me going. Now, there is a guy whose sensitive side is apparent but not cringe worthy. This whole show is a thumbs up for me, mostly because I like this sort of thing. Remember me? I’m the person who is still wondering what the helicopter happened to all those poor people on the 4400. (TV people please note, if you are bent on canceling something – your viewers need closure. We’ve invested, we’ve cared…..don’t leave us hanging.)

I am pretty hacked off at the Food Network over the whole Paula Deen thing. To me, she is becoming living proof of what my old dad always said “stick your head up above the crowd and someone is going to be waiting to behead you.” What a load of Country Crock! Seriously…..we’ve all done and said things we’ve come to regret, times change, people change………and sometimes we evolve and look back at our past and think “WTH was I thinking?”

Personally I’ve come to learn that your opinions about things are directly governed over by how close to home a subject hits. In other words, racial issues, gender issues, sexual preferences, &  political issues are all very lofty things to weigh your opinions on. But let one of those things affect you on a personal level and your opinions tend to shift………..your core values may remain the same but how you feel about it is now colored by your heart. So, Paula made a mistake in the past…she used some not so pretty language. She’s apologized and probably today in this climate regrets it more than anyone can know, but she must be hounded to the doorstep of hell for it? Come on. I pity you when your skeletons come creeping from your closet.

I remain hopeful she starts her own TV network and the Food Network finds themselves Chopped. Yes, I do believe there should be punishment for our actions – I just have a problem with overkill after the fact. I also have a problem with people who cannot just move on. Wonder how many heads rolled over at NBA TV when they inadvertently ran their championship apparel ad with the wrong team on it. Ooopsie…..some of us always thought the Spurs should have won, apparently we were unanimous in that feeling.

In short, because of the political climate today and the fact that the news makes my blood pressure spike on an hourly basis, I tend to lose myself in what my hubs refers to as “drivel.” I am unapologetic in my lack of television taste buds. I don’t complain (much) when I my DH is watching still yet ANOTHER episode of NCIS – I’m sure there is not one he has not seen at least 5 times. And I will watch Criminal Minds happily. I also freaking LOVE Big Bang Theory – for some reason it tickles me that Geeks and Nerds have become popular after spending so many years shoved in lockers. Besides I know some pretty interesting fellows who are a little geeky at times.

I’m still waiting for The Real Housewives of Sebastian or LeFlore County. These would be some chicks I could hang with and would probably resonate with a lot more people than the Beverly Hills or Orange County bunch. Although, I will say….those Jersey girls do make me laugh. But, I will give it all up if someone will resurrect Looney Tunes and give me good doses of the Coyote and Road Runner. After all………..if you can’t laugh what fun is life?

Lost In Translation

Sometimes I forget that not everyone has as rich and colorful language skills as myself.  But then, something always happens to bring me up short and make me painfully aware that language can often be very confusing.

I have an associate who is from another country.  This associate speaks lovely English which he taught to himself by listening to American music.  Impressed?  I certainly am.  However, listening to our music doesn’t educate one in the slang and local expressions we all have at our finger tips.  Most of you share my knowledge of “cold as a ___________” or “hot as a __________” etc. etc. etc.

Because I am really drawn to teaching someone, I have made it my mission in life to help my associate be familiar with expressions he might hear that confuse him.  And then……he usually breaks me up with the result.

My first attempt at his edification was the day he inquired “Lavetta, is it supposed to rain today?”  My response?  “Honey, from what I hear we can expect a turd floater.”  This required a bit of question and answer and I felt he was adequately equipped in that personal favorite of mine.  However, I learned soon after in speaking with his father in law on the phone (who is still out of country) he informed him “the turds are floating today.” Hmmmmm

Then….this week…..I skyped him and asked “did you do the backup on my computer over the weekend?”  He responded…….”are you ready for a wipe?”  Now given the fact I have been working with a non-dominate hand for 2 weeks……this question caused me to baptize my monitor with coffee.  Sadly, he had no idea the depravity of my thinking skills and where my mind went immediately, but he soon caught on and then was most amused at himself.

Gotta say…..I adore him………he always always always makes me laugh and there are days when that is most needed and needs no translation at all.

Can We Get Over Ourselves For A Moment?

While alone in the car the other day (a rare occurrence these days) I was brought up short by a radio ad.  This is even rarer as my husband is a talk radio junkie and I can’t stand to listen to people argue on the radio so I usually turn the thing off immediately.  But…this day…he must have had the radio tuned to old….and I do mean OLD classic country music.  Nothing had yet offended my delicate **ahem** sensibilities.

But, all good things must and usually do come to an end.  Suddenly…there was an ad directed at me………female…………wife……….victim of prostate cancer.  WAIT!  WHAT?!  Had my gentle gender become so equally evolved we have now grown prostates and therefore can add them to our list of maladies?  Well….no.  Duh!

But….according to the ad, we, as women, are the “real” victims of prostate cancer because it affects our marriage.  Seriously?  Really?  Are we really going to allow this to happen?  How long would we, as women, sit still for an ad proclaiming our husbands as the invisible victims of breast cancer (which they also CAN get you know) but I think you are getting the tilt of my viewpoint?  After all…..being ravaged by breast cancer can’t be pleasant for the testosterone set in our lives either, but we don’t have to hear about how traumatized about it they are.  We are much too busy being traumatized ourselves and rightfully so.

I am truly 100% FOR women having the same advantages and benefits in the workplace **providing they are willing to do the absolute SAME as a man in their position** – I am also one of those gals who knows how to do a lot of things for myself.  Does this mean I do them as well as a guy, probably not.  After all, I cannot tighten a lug nut down to the point of stripping the threads, most guys I know can…………..and do.

And would I participate in a good old fashioned bra burning?  Oh hell to the yes!  But, I would probably be burning mine because I hate the thing and fully believe it was developed as an instrument of torture and pain.  I’m kind of thinking most guys would be there at the rally with us too, since I think most of them either overtly or covertly would like to see the “girls” running around unfettered.

But…………can we…………..as women………..and society in general……….please let our men have this one thing that is ALL.ABOUT.THEM. ?  Can we get over ourselves long enough to recognize what a horrible thing this is for those hunky guys turned lovers and providers and just be supportive…….and loving?  Can we be the women they need us to be in their time of trouble and fear?  Can we…………..please?

And while I’m ranting…………where in the helicopter is THEIR ribbon we can post on our Facebook pages and attach to our cars?  I’d buy one……I can even come up with the design.