Friday, November 21, 2014

Saleing, Selling, Sailing

vyardsaleWith the increased numbers of people who like to use the computer for virtually everything except for finding directions, instructions or spell check, comes the Virtual (Online) Garage Sale craze.
For a number of months I have been amazed and horrified repeatedly by the amount of drama ensuing from the posting of a slightly damaged pack’n play or a collection of  chipped Fiesta ware.  You name it….someone’s trash is someone else’s treasure. OR.IS.IT?
Probably the most horrifying things are the posts that begin “I am SALEING this item.”  Or the equally cringe worthy “I have a whole box of these for SELL.”  Then there was the lady that had an antique omwire for sale.  I confess it took me quite a while to discern the item in question was indeed an armoire.  I actually felt badly for the girl who offered 2 shits for $10.00.  And apparently no one gave 2 shits for her offering because they are still there.  I commented I usually got those for free or after eating bad Mexican food.  Sorry…but I just had to.
People become practically homicidal if they believe the seller has overlooked them in the string of 50 comments of “interested” and online arguments happen frequently and heatedly.
And then there are the words that strike fear in the hearts of online stalkers everywhere.  CROSS POSTED!  This means your chances of actually making a successful arrangement for the item of your dreams is practically nil.  After all….did they post it FIRST on the site you are looking at, or was this site the 3rd or 4th stopping off place?  How many people have commented “interested” or worse “next” on the object of your affection?  How do you ensure this item is yours if you agree to meet with cash in hand in the back corner of the local Walmart at 10:52 pm on the next rainy day that falls on Tuesday?   ARRRGH…it is maddening!
I have a friend who dared to mention the lack of correct usage for Sale and Sell and was immediately set upon by illiterate angry people everywhere accusing her of being judgmental and yes…evil…for calling this to their attention.  I think that thread is still ongoing and probably has close to 1,000 comments by now.  These people missed the point….if you have a computer, which you obviously do….use it.  Check your spelling, check your usage.  Then you don’t look silly or foolish.  It is a wonderful tool.
Also, if you look back at your post and… horrors!……you have made an unfortunate spelling gaff use the edit function immediately and fix your mistake.  Then if people call you to task….they look silly for mentioning it because….voila! it is no longer there!
And while you are SAILING on the seas of cyberspace remember….it is not necessary for you to ask “is there a clinic in X that stays open after 5:00?”  Google it people!  I’ve actually answered questions of this nature for people who live in OTHER STATES!  It is all out there….you just have to take it!
And now a disclaimer.  **I am not responsible for any spelling errors or grammatical issues in this posting.  I have had more than a few glasses of wine and an Ambian**
I’m off to see the sites at the virtual garage sale….garage sail…oh well….you know.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Baby Daddies, Baby Mamas - Time to Lose Those Cowboy Pajamas

I will probably offend, anger and downright piss off quite a few people with this one but I have decided I really don't care. Part of what is wrong in our world today is we have become too afraid of offending someone. In short, as a people we are quickly losing our voice when it comes to the things we will stand up for and not stand for at all.
Silver2treakRecently, locally, there seems to be a trend developing. Young girls in their mid to late teens who have decided the cool thing is to have a baby. I'm not talking about accidents here - these appear to be deliberate acts of blatant irresponsible pregnancy. Because after all, we all know it is easier to prevent pregnancy today than to prevent the common cold. Gone are the days of surreptitious visits to that seedy little gas station bathroom to drop a quarter in the machine. Today, there is no stigma attached to purchasing condoms and there are a lot of clinics, etc. that hand out birth control pills like they are M & Ms. And then, there are also those questionable "after the fact" solutions. In most cases...if you get pregnant, it was choice you made.  And apparently you all have been drinking from the same Kool-Aid pitcher because all of you know each other and are "friends."

Both parents (and I use this term loosely for lack of a better one) in these situations are a) not married, b) unemployed, c) still living at home with their own parents and d) not interested in furthering their educations. To my way of thinking they are "playing" at life in the most irresponsible manner possible and down the line there will be little children who suffer the most from this game.

If you can see the social media pages of some of these kids (and I can but probably won't be able to after this) you will see baby daddies who are obsessed with taking "selfies" of themselves shirtless in the bathroom. Guys who at one moment are espousing the glories of marijuana and drinking and fighting for their "woman" and in the next breath talking about Jesus. One such young man currently has a baby born this week and is also "anxiously" awaiting the birth of another one after the first of the year. Of course, there are two different baby mamas. And this is not his first rodeo either. A year ago there was another baby. What the helicopter!?


How low can self esteem be for these two girls to even remotely think this is okay? They are beautiful girls who should have the world at their feet and good decent guys vying for their attention and instead they are now heavily tatted up and knocked up young women who are looking at a long and difficult road. Baby daddy is never going to step up and be a man who takes care of these children. Even if he at some point decides to try to do so, he will most likely choose one and the other will be left in the cold. Think about it for a moment - there will be 2 day care bills if anyone decides they need to work to support their own kids. Two sets of identical back to school supplies and clothing needs, two of everything for almost 2 decades. However, no one is worried because welfare, food stamps and all the other programs out there for the disadvantaged will be available. And these kids are already calculating how much they can "get." They are willing for their children to grow up learning to be users and takers instead of movers and shakers. And as long as we as their parents, friends and concerned on-lookers allow this to continue, it will not stop.

You would like to think these young adults come from disadvantaged or underprivileged backgrounds, but most of them don't. They are the offspring of ordinary middle classed people who have worked hard all their lives to do better for themselves and to provide well for their children. And now, unfortunately, it would appear they will spend the next 20 years of their lives continuing to struggle and provide for not only their adult children, but their grandkids as well. Now...we all know that once you are a parent it is a job for life, but where is it written that you must also relieve your children from the responsibility of their own ill advised decisions?  Especially, when it was a choice they consciously made.

If they never know the hardship, pain, sacrifice, worry and uncertainty of parenting how can they ever know the joy of children well raised?  How can they ever feel that heart bursting pride at graduations and weddings and all those milestones their children reach?  And if they are not guided correctly, how confident are we that these babies will ever reach for the stars with sure hands?  Or are they most likely to settle for "being" instead of "doing", content to barely get by in life?

And so, young baby daddies it is time for you to shake off the appointments of your childhood. Man up, grow a set, be an example of something other than tattoos, selfies, smoking weed, drinking and screwing. First of all - be a responsible citizen and take the lead in making sure you don't create a life you aren't ready to give your life to and for.   Be responsible for your own birth control - there is nothing unmanly in being responsible.  Respect those girls enough to not be the cause of 9 months of swollen feet, heavy bellies evolving into dirty diapers, spit up, sleepless nights and constant worry.  But, if it happens, be men....real men.....instead of being baby daddies...become fathers who teach their children something other than the easy road.


And you precious young women. Look at yourself, see what we see...the potential you have left untapped. The self respect you have thrown away by allowing yourself to be used by someone who only sees you as some sort of vessel for their use will be hard to retrieve. Find someone who can do something for you instead of merely "doing" you. And remember...each lapse in self respect you allow to result in a child will make it that much more difficult for you to ever find someone who is worthy of being your husband and the father and parent of your children.

We've all been there...anyone who says otherwise is probably lying.  We all want our children and grandchildren to think we were perfect when we were young.  But really.  We've all been in love and we've all been wrongly in love a time or two. Some of us are infinitely grateful we didn't have to pay the price for loving badly. We can all remember the heart stopping, can't catch your breath and pulse pounding need to be so close to someone. We will never be too old we can't remember. We all fantasized at some point in our young lives about having a child with someone we were so in love with it made us physically ill. But, for most of us...that also included fantasies of white dresses and honeymoons and then living blissfully in that little house with the white picket fence and THEN the pitter patter of little feet.

Sometimes it worked that way...sometimes it did not. You are not unique you are not the first person to make a mistake. But it is now up to you to figure out how you can make the best of your situation. How are YOU going to make life wonderful for your child? What are YOU willing to sacrifice for that little baby? And what are you NOT willing to allow your parents to do to make YOUR life better. Time to put away childhood things and behaviors and enter the world of grownups. You've made a decision to be here so we all want you to be a real citizen not just a guest or visitor we have to be responsible for.  Putting aside any moralistic ravings - let's look at this in a simpler form - "when did it become okay to just be irresponsibly stupid?"

And the quicker you step up the better your life will be. Because even if your parents remove the responsibility of your baby from your shoulders, things are about to get real. No longer will everything be about YOU. While your parents would happily step between you and a train, they will now forever be more than willing to step between YOU and that child if you are perceived as a threat. It won't be about what makes YOU happy and content now. It will be about that child. So if you want the same things from your parents you have always enjoyed, you had better learn to be a good parent to your child.

So, in is what you make it. You can make it a “less than”  life for you and another generation or you can grow up, pack away your video games and princess tea party sets and have a great life. Your baby deserves it but he or she can't get it for themselves - it will have to come from you. And remember, your family may be disappointed in you right now,  but they love you and always will. Try to remember that little fact while you are trying to convince them you are a bad ass dude who doesn't need anybody's advice. The time is approaching when you will find out just how bad ass you.are.not.  At the end of the day it will be your family that stands with you till the end.  The kind of devotion and love your family has for you is deserving of something in return FROM you.  Please don't dishonor everything they have done for you by giving your best to someone who wouldn't stand beside you in the fire.

And, parents....God bless your hearts!  Hopefully you can try to instill in your daughters a sense of their own self worth.  The knowledge they are better than just someone's punching board.  And if you find yourself dealing with your precious baby girl's pregnancy please take as much control as you can.  Don't allow that "boy/man" to further disrespect your daughter OR you.  Make them accountable or make them gone.  Do not allow your entire family to have to deal with the jerk that has not given your daughter the respect she should have.  Even if she doesn't expect it for herself - you need to DEMAND it for her.  Someday she will thank you for it.  Do less and she will forever know, you did not value her enough.  And worse, HE will know that as well and treat her accordingly.

**This message was husband approved**

Thursday, June 19, 2014

DIY - Part Deux

In the spirit of Do It Yourselfers everywhere, we occasionally step off the slippery slope into some pretty rough waters.  I have learned our DIY gene kicks in most often when our bank account is most lean.  And on reflection...this is probably when we should most definitely resist DIO (Doing It Ourselves).

If you know me at all you know I am a person who doesn't mind being alone.  In fact...I prefer it most of the time.  But God has an amazing sense of humor and it seems he enjoys challenging us with our preferences.  I.Am.Never.Alone.  EVER.  Please understand, I wouldn't like to be alone always, but sometimes would be great.

In my quest to have a moment alone I recently offered to transport a dog for a friend  **side note: I don't mind having animals along for the ride**

I picked up the dog and all her stuff and went home to finish gathering my items for the trip and when it was time to leave, my car wouldn't start.  Now...the car had been having some issues in this area.  We don't like to be proactive about issues.  We like to wait and do those knee jerk reactionary things that usually cause far more problems than we originally had.

Battery.  We thought.  New Battery.  Nope.  This issue had tendrils of catastrophe wrapped all around it - paid cash for the battery except for $18.00 on the debit card.  And, when we returned the battery, they refunded all $118.00 back onto the debit card (which takes 4 - 5 days to show up).  Now...we have a cash crisis on top of everything else.

It is now starting to look like it is a starter issue.  Or, a non-starter issue as it were.  So, collectively we foolishly decide to DIO.  Since the car won't start it is a non moving hunk of metal sitting on a driveway incline.  Efforts to push said hunk of metal onto car ramps proved problematic.  So, we pushed it into the street and pushed it rear first back onto the driveway.  Now we have gravity at our disposal and can effortlessly push the car onto the car ramps.

Which we did.  However, like I said gravity that fickle witch worked so well we went up on the car ramps and right back off the front of them.  At this point, I removed myself from the DIY project and took to my bed.  A tow truck arrived, the car departed and I rode the bus to work the following Monday (there's a story there too, but I'll not bore you with that one.)

My amazing children paid for the car repairs with the explanation they were probably getting out easy.  I think they thought having to pay for waffles and gas for the LEGs might have been more expensive in the long run.  LOL

Just to clarify, neither myself or my husband are totally inept.  We are actually quite good at fixing things, etc.  It is just a further indication of our old friend gravity.  When we are struggling the most, gravity seems to work against us by making everything we attempt just a little bit harder.  And constant struggles seems to cloud one's thinking and more than minimally diminish confidence levels.

But, the good news is we continually to struggle on.  We haven't thrown in the towel yet and we do have faith that this too shall pass

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

DIY - Does This Mean DIE - Like in Expire, Pass Over?

Apparently DIY (which is an Acronym for Do It Yourself) could be construed to mean DIE sucker DIE!

DIY is all the rage right now and yes, I confess to having been chomped on by the DIY bug.  I blame my mother whose phrase "don't pay for that we can make it" still resonates with me and I find myself using it from time to time.  And while it is true I have these twinges of guilt over it because I know that the person whose item I am mentally cataloging has spent time working on for the purpose of making MO-NEY.

One thing I have learned is if I am going to DIY (both literally and figuratively) I need to find a block of time when the hub-a-lump is not in residence.  This adds a whole other level of skill to the project - trying to DIY without being noticed....and helped.

Recently, I had this idea...
Yes, I realize...big deal it's a pot of flowers sitting on a table.  But this case, the umbrella goes through the pot and through the table and into the stand.  I thought myself most clever.  Darling hubs had the idea to shield the umbrella pole with PVC pipe to prevent it from rotting due to exposure to wet conditions in the pot...GREAT IDEA!!!  Really.  He even went and obtained all the supplies to make this project ready to DIY!  However, I am a lot more like my mom than I would like to admit and when I have these moments I want them to happen NOW.  So 2 weeks after supplies, I decided to DIM (Do It Myself).  I carefully measured and cut the PVC pipe (easy peasy) then I cut a hole in the inner tray of the pot (did that with kitchen shears - again no problemo).  I was ready to tackle the hole in the outer pot.  At this moment, help arrived.  My help whipped out his trusty Bosch drill and attached a tool to it that looked like it could ream a hole through the earth all the way to China.  Inverting the pot, he commenced to drill.  The second that razor sharp paddle thingie touched that plastic pot an explosion happened.  Plastic shards flew everywhere (and no kids we weren't wearing our safety glasses).  This resulted in a different explosion, one of the human variety as my help was not happy with the first explosion.

The upshot was I went back to the lumber yard and obtained another pot and then I used a fireplace lighter to heat up the plastic and push it around until I had a hole of sufficient size to fit over my umbrella pole.  I would like to say all were happy but me having a successful piercing of the pot didn't help the climate at my homestead one bit.  But now we are over it and neither one of us is telling the other to DIY and I've moved on to my new project.
Again, it doesn't look like much, but you have to imagine it hanging from my patio cover ceiling at night.  All that is left on this is to hang it - something I can't do as the thing weighs 1/2 as much as I do but I am hopeful this can happen without anyone having to DIY (literally.)

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Yes, I'm Hacked Off and I'm Trying to Get Over It.

Maybe you have noticed and maybe you haven't.  Maybe you've noticed but just didn't give a big fat rip.  I have been AFB (Absent From Blog) for many many moons.

There are several reasons for this not the least of which is there just hasn't been that many interesting or funny things to talk about of late.  And the things that I could talk about would probably result in me further alienating people.  Hmmmm, let me I really care about this one?  Let me get back to you on that, the jury is still out.

One can speculate all they want about what the problem is but if you know me much and have listened ever you will probably figure it out.  Let's just say that throwing snow at a tiger's head will get you just about the same result as crapping on someone who has really tried to help you, and has sacrificed a lot to do the right thing.

I will leave you today with one thought.....allowing someone to be themselves is an important part of life.  Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, warts and all.  I've found the people with the biggest freaking character flaws are the most judgmental and unforgiving humans in the world.  And....if you have a history of not liking a certain set of people over and over again, chances are you are the stinking fly in the ointment, not them.    Grrrrr.