Lost In Translation

Sometimes I forget that not everyone has as rich and colorful language skills as myself.  But then, something always happens to bring me up short and make me painfully aware that language can often be very confusing.

I have an associate who is from another country.  This associate speaks lovely English which he taught to himself by listening to American music.  Impressed?  I certainly am.  However, listening to our music doesn’t educate one in the slang and local expressions we all have at our finger tips.  Most of you share my knowledge of “cold as a ___________” or “hot as a __________” etc. etc. etc.

Because I am really drawn to teaching someone, I have made it my mission in life to help my associate be familiar with expressions he might hear that confuse him.  And then……he usually breaks me up with the result.

My first attempt at his edification was the day he inquired “Lavetta, is it supposed to rain today?”  My response?  “Honey, from what I hear we can expect a turd floater.”  This required a bit of question and answer and I felt he was adequately equipped in that personal favorite of mine.  However, I learned soon after in speaking with his father in law on the phone (who is still out of country) he informed him “the turds are floating today.” Hmmmmm

Then….this week…..I skyped him and asked “did you do the backup on my computer over the weekend?”  He responded…….”are you ready for a wipe?”  Now given the fact I have been working with a non-dominate hand for 2 weeks……this question caused me to baptize my monitor with coffee.  Sadly, he had no idea the depravity of my thinking skills and where my mind went immediately, but he soon caught on and then was most amused at himself.

Gotta say…..I adore him………he always always always makes me laugh and there are days when that is most needed and needs no translation at all.

Can We Get Over Ourselves For A Moment?

While alone in the car the other day (a rare occurrence these days) I was brought up short by a radio ad.  This is even rarer as my husband is a talk radio junkie and I can’t stand to listen to people argue on the radio so I usually turn the thing off immediately.  But…this day…he must have had the radio tuned to old….and I do mean OLD classic country music.  Nothing had yet offended my delicate **ahem** sensibilities.

But, all good things must and usually do come to an end.  Suddenly…there was an ad directed at me………female…………wife……….victim of prostate cancer.  WAIT!  WHAT?!  Had my gentle gender become so equally evolved we have now grown prostates and therefore can add them to our list of maladies?  Well….no.  Duh!

But….according to the ad, we, as women, are the “real” victims of prostate cancer because it affects our marriage.  Seriously?  Really?  Are we really going to allow this to happen?  How long would we, as women, sit still for an ad proclaiming our husbands as the invisible victims of breast cancer (which they also CAN get you know) but I think you are getting the tilt of my viewpoint?  After all…..being ravaged by breast cancer can’t be pleasant for the testosterone set in our lives either, but we don’t have to hear about how traumatized about it they are.  We are much too busy being traumatized ourselves and rightfully so.

I am truly 100% FOR women having the same advantages and benefits in the workplace **providing they are willing to do the absolute SAME as a man in their position** – I am also one of those gals who knows how to do a lot of things for myself.  Does this mean I do them as well as a guy, probably not.  After all, I cannot tighten a lug nut down to the point of stripping the threads, most guys I know can…………..and do.

And would I participate in a good old fashioned bra burning?  Oh hell to the yes!  But, I would probably be burning mine because I hate the thing and fully believe it was developed as an instrument of torture and pain.  I’m kind of thinking most guys would be there at the rally with us too, since I think most of them either overtly or covertly would like to see the “girls” running around unfettered.

But…………can we…………..as women………..and society in general……….please let our men have this one thing that is ALL.ABOUT.THEM. ?  Can we get over ourselves long enough to recognize what a horrible thing this is for those hunky guys turned lovers and providers and just be supportive…….and loving?  Can we be the women they need us to be in their time of trouble and fear?  Can we…………..please?

And while I’m ranting…………where in the helicopter is THEIR ribbon we can post on our Facebook pages and attach to our cars?  I’d buy one……I can even come up with the design.